1. You like focusing on problems, not solutions.

2. You keep telling stories of how bad your past was.

3. You are an attention seeker who uses sulking and a display of hopelessness to attract attention.

4. You like to post shocking and sorry things about yourself on social media to shock people so that they give you attention.

5. You like to threaten people/your spouse/your partner that you will commit suicide when things are bad to manipulate them into doing things your way.

6. You treat your spouse badly and claim your spouse should understand because you came from a poor, broken and dark past or childhood. You refuse to take responsibility for your wrongs.

7. You prolong your sulking ways when you are wronged so that you can take advantage of the remorse of your spouse even after you’ve claimed you have forgiven him/her.

8. Your spouse and others are always wrong; as for you, when you mess, there is a justification.

9. You cheat on your spouse then blame your spouse for making you do it.

10. You hold on to your mess, you bask in your problems and don’t want to change things because playing victim works for you.

11. You are lazy and depend on others to do things for you by making them feel pity for you.

12. You like crying and complaining that everyone has abandoned you yet you are the one who pushes them away.

13. You know the right thing to do but you don’t do it because you are comfortable with people feeling sorry for you. In a weird way it makes you feel strong.

14. You are used to complaining how the world is so unfair instead of taking charge of your life.

15. When things go wrong, you dramatize them. You showcase your tears, you wallow with no end, the public has to know when you are wronged.

16. You capitalize on the pity others feel for you, and get mad and attack those who speak tough truth to you and tell you to grow up and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

17. You love asking for advise about your predicament multiple times but you don’t heed the advise because the truth is you don’t want to get out of the predicament you are in. You ask for advice to seek attention, not to solve issues.

18. You want to prove to the world no one has gone through pain like you have. You compete with others who has gone through the worst in life. You belittle the troubles of others but magnify your own. Life has been the most unfair to you.

19. The story you share the most is the dark one, of how messed up things are instead of stories of hope, of your vision, of the future.

20. You wear down your spouse/partner/family/friends by constantly being negative. You have refused to see the positive side of life, to move on, to find solutions and you want to suck others in your negative energy.

Please stop using the victim card and you will have a fulfilled life, a fulfill marriage and fulfilled friendships. Make it fulfilling and easy for others to love and be near you.