How having a low self-esteem affects you!

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1. “It makes you put up with crap”

You are in a relationship/marriage where you are being beaten up, insulted, destroyed and cheated on; but you stay. Even worse, when your partner is to blame, you actually think you are the problem and should count yourself lucky for the rotten love you have.

2. “It makes people use you”

People walk all over you, manipulate you and use you because you let them.

3. “It robs you of your identity.”

You follow trends and passing fads because you want to fit in. You suppress your voice because you feel it is not good enough.

4. “It makes you see God as a ruthless punisher”

You feel God is ever with a whip, waiting for you to fail and punish you. God is gracious, loving, forgiving but your low self-esteem keeps you from seeing that. You focus on your mistakes.

5. “It makes you hate being alone”

You dislike your own company because you don’t find yourself attractive. You depend on other people to give you meaning making you clingy. You jump from one relationship to another, one rebound to another to give you worth.

6. “It makes you attention seeking”

You want attention because it consoles you. You speak with a loud voice, create drama, create scenes, dress provocatively, post updates on social media to attract curiosity. You seek pity from people. Without attention you feel worthless.

7. “It makes you settle for less”

You deserve the best but you settle for less. You hold on to an average job, an average life, an average relationship. You feel the best things in life are for the ‘other’ people. A good person wants to love you but you decline, choosing instead to commit to someone who messes up your life.

8. “It makes you a hater”

If you are hating on someone’s success, you have a low self esteem.

9. “It makes you desperate”

You rush things, making everything an emergency therefore ruining even the best of things. You come across as emotionally unstable.

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10. “It makes you suicidal”

You give up on life. Better death than living your miserable life. You refuse to take charge of your life despite the many real stories of people who got themselves out of a tough situation. You give up too easily, failing to see your potential and bright future.

11. “It makes you idolize ‘great people”

Beyond admiring people who have been successful, you idolize them. Failing to recognize that they are human just like you, you too can be successful.

12. “It makes you an addict, you are not in control”

Alcohol addiction, pornography addiction, getting high addiction. You hide and numb your reality in addiction. You can’t have fun or be confident without alcohol, you don’t engage in real relationships so you turn to pornography to make you feel alright.

13. “It robs you your smile”

You don’t enjoy your life, your smile is plastic, your laugh is fake. You pretend you are happy but deep down you feel empty.

14. “It makes you insecure and over possessive”

You are fearful of losing your lover because you think there is someone out there better than you. And so for no reason, you suspect your lover, become jealous and want to track your lover’s every move.

15. “It makes you not enjoy sex”

A low self-esteemed man will not heat a woman fully and a low self-esteemed woman will be too self-conscious making the act rigid.To have great sex, one must feel hot and sexy, relax and release.

16. “It makes you see yourself as dirty and good for nothing”

If people insult you or talk negatively about you, if you were sexually abused in the past; all your life, you live feeling unattractive. You let other people and past events define you.

17. “It cheapens you”

You have no dignity, no values. You are casual with sex, having sex to get and keep someone, using sex to feel needed.

18. “It ruins your relationship/marriage”

Low self-esteem will take a toll on your love-life, it will make it a struggle to love you because you don’t love yourself. Your partner can’t make you love yourself, how you view yourself is your sole responsibility.

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19. “It keeps you from doing great things”

It makes you mediocre, you become your own worst enemy.

20. “It makes you irrational”

You become easily tossed about, you lack the guts to be decisive and stand by your decisions.

21. “It robs you your life”

You look back over your life and wonder, what have I really done with my life that is meaningful? You lack drive.

22. “It makes you anti-social”

You avoid people because you think if they get close they’ll find out you are not all that amazing. And even if you have a lover, your whole life revolves around that lover, you make no friends and don’t want your lover to have friends. You suffocate your lover.

23. “It makes you avoid your breakthrough”

Yes you have big dreams, yes you can make it; the world is ready for you to shine but you refuse to show up. You talk big but do little. You put no effort, you are scared of risks and failure, you tell yourself it is impossible.

24. “It makes you superficial”

You don’t get to connect with people on a heart level, you cover up on the outside with fine clothes, money, material things because you fear being vulnerable.

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Dayan Masinde

Dayan Masinde is a Nairobi based Kenyan artist specializing in Poetry, Fine Art, Portrait Art, Murals, Creative Writing, Music, Illustrations and Animation. He is often described as "The Artist Inspired by Love" because of his use of artistic expressions to inspire, celebrate and help understand the mystery of love. His poetry book "WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE" is available for purchase worldwide on amazon.

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