Foolish reasons people give to justify cheating

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1.”Everyone is cheating”

No, not everyone is sleeping around. This world has many faithful people of integrity, you have simply chosen not be one of them.

2. “My spouse lives too far from me”

Long distance relationships can take a toll on someone, but instead of sleeping with another because your lover is far, call your lover on phone when you are aroused, express how much you miss each other and long for each other; that is what true love is about. Trust is not dependent on your spouse being physically near you.

3. “I no longer find my lover sexy”

Yes, doing the same thing with your spouse over and over can dull things up. But why trash your marriage because of it yet you and spouse can work on spicing up your sex life? Perhaps there is something your spouse is not doing or is not doing right; tell your spouse, don’t look outside. Any one would prefer being suggested to by their spouse to do some sexy things rather than their spouse cheating on them.

4. “My woman is pregnant”

A woman’s sexiness doesn’t die when she gets pregnant, she can be pregnant and sexy; most women get a huge sexual appetite when pregnant. You two can have pregnancy sex, or she could even find ways to still give you pleasure with her hands or other parts of her.

5. “I use a condom”

A condom can protect you from pregnancy or contracting sexually transmitted diseases as you cheat, but it doesn’t protect your lover’s heart from the pain your unfaithfulness brings.

6. “A man must have side a side chick”

No, no, no! A real man is faithful to his woman/ wife. Immature boys play games. Don’t let the lies your male friends tell you mislead you to messing the good love you have, they want you to join them because they have messed up their good love. Real friends keep you on the right track. They wouldn’t want you mess up like they did.

7. “The woman was too sexy for me to let her pass”

Yes, this world is full of sexy women. They will wear fancy clothes, show curves, reveal cleavage, smell good, flirt or even seduce you; but those sexy women don’t love you like your woman does, they haven’t been there for you, they don’t know you, they don’t believe in you like your woman does. Your woman is more than sexy, she loves you; she is special, treat her as such. Don’t wreck real love for a passing body.

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8. “He/she was the one who came onto me”

Aren’t you a grown person? Don’t you have the guts to tell off vultures who try to come between you and your lover? You allow that vulture to lure you because you want to, you choose to be unfaithful.

9. “Blame it on the alcohol”

No one forced you to drink. It was your choice to go to that venue, your choice to drink knowing very well alcohol will cloud your judgement. Someone who is serious about his/her relationship/marriage avoids venues and activities that don’t add value to their love-life. Alcohol only brings out the inner nature we hide when sober.

10. “Girls ain’t loyal”

Why would you let a pop song make you irresponsible? Women have dignity, they don’t sleep around, they are keepers because they are loyal to the man they commit to. Women are not shaped by pop culture. Are you a girl or a woman? You decide.

11. “I have no control over my libido”

We are human beings not animals; we build sky scrappers, develop apps, drive automobiles, develop satellites, invent medicine, perform works of art, construct large ships, we dominate the created world. Surely we can also have control over our libido. If you are a highly sexual person, well, direct your sexual urges to your spouse; don’t be ashamed about it, exclusively release it on him/her.

12. “My spouse led me to it”

No one, not even your spouse can force you to do anything. If you feel your spouse pushed you away, it was your choice to open your legs for another.

13. “My lover thinks I am cheating, I might as well do it”

If your lover thinks you’re cheating yet you are not, that’s your lover’s fault. You are not faithful because your lover believes you are faithful, you are faithful because that is who you are, whether others believe it or not.

14. “I did it to revenge”

If your lover jumps a cliff or commits suicide, will you do the same?

15. “It’s my money, my life”

Yes, so you have money to buy your own car and sex a stranger in it; yes, you can afford a vacation to go have an affair; yes, you feel like a big shot and you can do anything. But if anything is what you want to do then end that relationship/marriage then go on and do as you please; but don’t cheat yet still stay in the commitment. As long as you are in that relationship/marriage, you are accountable and answerable to your partner; that is what it means to be one in love. But even if you were to break the commitment in order to do as you please, eventually you will get tired of that life and you will realize the value of love, commitment and family- things that money nor success can get you. Love is not for the selfish.

16. “My marriage is a mess”

As long as you are still in that marriage make it work, don’t cheat. Make up your mind, are you in or out; no gray areas. How does cheating solve your marital problems?

17. “No one will know”

People in an affair tell themselves this. Unfaithfulness almost always comes out in the open; but even if it doesn’t, God knows it and you two know it; it will eat you up in your conscience.

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Dayan Masinde

Dayan Masinde is a Nairobi based Kenyan artist specializing in Poetry, Fine Art, Portrait Art, Murals, Creative Writing, Music, Illustrations and Animation. He is often described as "The Artist Inspired by Love" because of his use of artistic expressions to inspire, celebrate and help understand the mystery of love. His poetry book "WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE" is available for purchase worldwide on amazon.

  • Tkwanya

    I suspect the article was filed in a hurry, which is okay. But now, please, correct the typos.

  • sam kim

    Ruto should look for good competent lawyer otherwise he is loosing out odm politics doesnt add anything here  its well known a day has 24 hrs it takes less than an hour for a helicopter to cover such a distance and for his witness their inconsistency is really taking him down watch this space

    • Me Myself & I

      The defence closed with politics in mind…What a shame! Even at such crucial times, Katwa & Kilokumi couldn’t help but mention Raila & ODM. Oh well, they were warned!

  • Annvalle

    Ocampo does not have enough evidence to convict a chicken thief let alone accuse people of crimes against humanity. I wanted justice for PEV but this will not do it. The charges will probably be confirmed because the threshold if very low but these guys will get an acquital at the main trial.

    • Me Myself & I

      Have we been following the same proceedings???!! Enough said.

    • Anonymous

      Prosecution’s and Judge Chana’s closing remarks were very conclusive and powerful but again it is hard to predict how this case will end. I also thought Ocampo did not have a very strong case but when Ms. Tai stated that the suspects had helicopters at their disposal which could enable them cover long distances very easily, I saw the suspects’ alibis weaken. I have along been convinced chaos in R/valley were not planned but suspects’ witnesses were not very convincing either. Bishop Koskei and Murei were the biggest let-downs.
      It is very evident that people who suffered in R/Valley and their relatives and friends (i.e PNU supporters) would want Ocampo to triumph in the first case against Ruto and co-accused. On the other hand, people who lost friends and relatives in Naivasha, Kibera, Kisumu and Nakuru (ODM fans) would be disappointed if Uhuru and company’s case does not proceed to the second round. All we should pray for is that God’s will be done in this case.

      • Samrot20b1

        @ aluko, am an Aircraft engineer and i tell you the helicopters argument will be quashed.The Bell helicopters that are used by both Ruto and kosgey have a very limited range in terms of fuel Vs distance traveled .When you add up the distances to and from the locations those guys were in on that particular day then you will realize they would have to have had at least two fuel refills.As far as i know the refill points are either in Air force bases, Wilson airport and other various airports in kenya.Specifically the fuel they use is either AV-TAR or AV-GAS which are not necessarily available in all airports in kenya since the Fixed wing aircraft tend to use JET-A1 which is different from the hitherto mentioned fuels.What am trying to say is that the prosecution lawyer was smart enough to point out that fact but later on when facts are examined in terms of helicopter makes available,locations,range,fuel etc.The argument wont stand

        • Anonymous

          I am neither a pilot nor an aircraft engineer but if these aircrafts need 2 refills after covering just 150km and from your point of view, R/Valley, Nyanza and Western may not have very many refill points, don’t you think ODM would not have used them to criss-cross these regions? Distance from Kisumu to Eldoret is only 130km, are you sure one would need 2 fuel refills for this distance? Another thing, the prosecutions stated meeting dates not times, Ruto and Kosgey, with corroborating evidence, showed that they were away on some of those dates but none of them told the chamber their return dates. As mentioned earlier, I strongly believe chaos in R/Valley were not planned but I was terribly disappointed by the defense attorneys and witnesses. These people could have done better to stop this case from going to the second round. From what I saw, nobody is sure.

          • Samrot20b1

            Also it is possible to check with Air traffic Control if these itineraries/trips happened.I know for a fact that aviation legislation requires that before an aircraft takes off regardless of whether it is fixed wing or a helicopter then they have to log in with a local ATC……

  • RONALD

    JUDIE KABERIA is really a special project reporter as her title suggests. She and her handles whoever they may be want to drag the good name of Prime Minister Raila Odinga in this mess by whatever means necessary.
    Judie I have some news for you.It will not work ok .Raila Odinga is clean and his mistake if any was to lead ODM. What you are doing has been tried many times before and it did not work.Be objective in your writing’s and you will earn allot of respect.

    • Judie Kaberia

      Hi Ronald, I reported things as said. I have not added my opinion. That is what Katwa said in his closing remarks. It is good for you (the public) to know and in fact I have used a direct quote. I have no personal feelings to any of the parties, objectivity being my guiding line.

      • Kimnjoroge

        i have been reading your article and they are always biased towards raila ronald is right

        • All that & more

          I think you meant biased against Raila:-) But I do agree, a lot of the Capital articles are so biased against Raila…I gather it’s almost a policy to hate Raila to work in Capital. Heck I love capital & sorry, If I’m wrong but that’s what I’ve heard!

          • Muchamaa

            I have also heard its biblical in Nyanza to worship Raila Odinga.  But! Its just what I’ve heard.

          • Wambui

            muchama you are really a dump fellow stop a shaming yourself

          • Muchamaa

            Hahaha. Wambui Nyako. You do not even know the spelling of the word ‘dumb’

          • Me Myself & I

            Hmmm Wambui, let’s see…Dumbhead=Muchamaa.
            This excuse of an embarrassment need not be further addressed!

      • Anonymous

        Thank you for that observation too.

      • RONALD

        Judie. How comes you did not also quote from ICC lead prosecutor Cynthia Tai on what she said about Raila Odinga if you claim that you are objective? Why did you choose to quote from Katwa kigen only?Is it because he Kigen said something on Raila that sounded very sweet to your ears ?
        Cynthia Tai said there is no evidence linking Raila to this crimes. Lets avoid looking at everyhing from tribal angle ie Kikuyu Vs Luo or Luo Vs GEMA etc

        • Muchamaa

          “Lets avoid looking at everyhing from tribal angle ie Kikuyu Vs Luo or Luo Vs GEMA etc”

          Hehehe. The pot calling the kettle black.

      • reader99

        @Judie, do you agree with @Muchamaa’s post?

    • Muchamaa

      Forget about these dumb idiots from Nyanza, Judie. They believe Raila is Jesus whose name should not be mentioned in vain.

      • beametho

        Have some respect am from Nyanza and am not a dumb idiot. Leave the tribe out of this.

        • Samson

          muchamaa you must be very stupid indeed im from central but dump guy like you are the one who are making our community to be heated all over kenya

          • Muchamaa

            I am from Nyanza and dumb people like you are the ones that make us be despised all over the country.

      • Baijo

        this muchama thing is a dumb stupid gay

      • reader99

        Muchamaa, you are mentioning the LORD Jesus Christ in vain, and unless you repent you will answer for it one day.

        • Muchamaa

          I will not answer for anything dumb ass. Unlike you and your idol Raila, the real God knows what figure of speech is.

          • reader99

            Sorry Muchamaa, Raila or Kibaki is not my idol because they are mortals like me and you. My God is the LORD Jesus Christ and I am offended you mentioning Him in vain just to gain debate/tribal points.

            By the way, what does ‘dump ass’ and ‘dump idiot’ mean? My mother never taught me that neither did my teacher.

    • Muchamaa

      Forget about these dumb idiots from Nyanza, Judie. They believe Raila is Jesus whose name should not be mentioned in vain.

    • Edgems4

      Judie quoted Katwa Kigen….If that is not simple and clear enough,then i sympathiser.I think some people wouldn’t know grief even if it appeared to them in the form of a giant red zepellin.

    • Victor

      @Muchamaa: Why abuse a whole community over one readers (flawed) perspective. Look at Judies’ answer to Ronald, short, crisp and to the point.

    • Justin Kipkoech

      Judie,don’t bother replying to people who have skewed judgements.

  • paul

    Ruto and Sang’s lawyers goofed big time.It appears they have not yet internalized the gravity of the ICC trials choosing instead to play the ODM theatrics! The PEV victims need justice dispensed quickly and kudos to Chana for well representation. As for Keter, he has only convinced the world their hearts are full of hatred perhaps a pointer to their bloody hands!  IMPUNITY MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS. We have exposed to the entire world how uncivilized part of our communities are in these modern times.

  • Edclives25

    Defense lawyers fight cases with facts. Keter marking and threatening witnesses is a stupid game. This is similar to them dragging Rao to their case. Its failing. By the way Keter , you are ashaming the belgut people. We really need you out of as soon. We elected you to parliament and not to roam in hague. We didnt know you are that shallow.

    Kapsoit

    • Justin Kipkoech

      A friend in need is a friend indeed.Allow Keter to stand by his friend,bwana.

  • sure

    there seems to be a plot to rewrite the script  of what happen during P.E.V., i always believe the violence was spontenious and there is the issue of historical land injustices which has been swept under the carpet and WSR has been hoodwinked by P.N.U into blaming R.A.O. for everything and was not there in 1992 and 1997.the truth will always come out.

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