Have you ever wondered why dads are more popular with their kids? Have you ever noticed that when dad comes home from work, it becomes like a celebration of some sorts? He gets wide, happy, genuine smiles, playful leaps on his back, hugs and kisses and a half hour cling-a-thon session because dad is just the superhero.
When mum comes home, all she gets is a “hi mum” without even as little as eye contact, the end.
Why is this normally the case you may ask?
Dad is always scarce! If he is not away at work, he has traveled to some country on business or he is at the garage or somewhere hanging out with friends, giving his kids a chance to miss him every time he is away from the home and therefore gets the King-worthy reception from his brood. The reception becomes an even major one when dad comes home bearing gifts.
As for mum, what has mum done apart from always being there for her kids? You know, bringing them into the world, feeding them, fretting her pants off when they fall sick, reading them bedtime stories and calling home 567 times a day to check on them…all the reasons to make her unpopular with her brood right? There’s just no chance to miss that woman. She.is. everywhere. you.turn!
It is evident that absence does make the heart grow fonder and Law 16 from the “48 laws of power” states exactly that.
Use absence to increase respect and honor.
Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity. ~Law 16
This law is all about how we relate with each other. And you will find that if you get too used to each other and being around each other too much, everything is bound to start going south. Boredom, disdain, rejection, cheating and insecurity all creep in and soon you will find yourself in a mess of a relationship.
Law 16 further explains that “At the start of an affair, you need to heighten your presence in the eyes of the other. If you absent yourself too early, you may be forgotten. But once your lover’s emotions are engaged, and the feeling of love has crystallized, absence inflames and excites.”
So how can you tell that you spend too much time together?
#You have nothing new to talk about
Since you have been spending every waking moment together and spending very little time apart, you have exhausted everything to say to each other therefore you become like two perfect, boring strangers yet you’ve known each other for a while.
#You don’t miss each other
Well, you cannot spend most of your time together for over a year and still expect to have that spark between the two of you. Chances are, if you spend too much time together, such that you even start resembling each other and even almost becoming the same person you will not miss each other. Would you miss yourself ?
#You don’t communicate over the phone anymore
We actually try to look for people we have missed. Spending too much time with each other will guarantee you one thing.. That.You.Will.Not.Miss.Each. Other! When you don’t miss each other, you will not feel the need to call each other every other time to check up on each other or send each other special texts. And that ladies and gentlemen, is how love starts to fade.
#You don’t go out anymore
Since you share the same space (read, live in the same house) and do everything together, the need to go out and have fun ceases. You are likely to get comfortable hanging out in the house in your pyjamas over the weekend, doing the same old boring things you normally do. The mystery is gone, the passion is gone, the spark is gone. In fact the only thing that isn’t gone is your boring couch where you spend most of your life. Even date nights and movie nights take place in the house.
#Your bedroom life is…er…non-existent
You have gotten so used to each other’s snoring and going to bed like you are going to fight with garden tools, so the attraction to each other fades. You stop fancying each other because you have gotten comfortable with the fact that you have seen each other at your worst (read, drooling the night away and letting out the smelly air from your derriere) and become like two old pals who feel awkward about romancing each other.
#You have similar hobbies
People who spend too much time together are likely to gain the same interests, which is ok. The problem comes in when you forget yourself and the person you were before you met your significant other and absorb their interests fully. When you lose interest in the things you used to love and pick up somebody else’s interests, there will be so much reason for you to fret. Boredom will become you in the near future! You MUST have some hobbies that are different from your person.
#You take each other for granted
You are literally in each other’s face every day so you will get too comfortable with each other. You start to get bored and tired of doing things for each other and even start arguing about who spread the bed two weeks ago and whose turn it is today. You also find yourself bored with doing the things you used to do when love was still hot and steamy and find yourself feeling a little bothered every time you have to cook for or clean after each other.
#You share friends (don’t have a separate sets of friends)
If you share all your friends then that right there is a boring life. It is very important to have a separate set of friends just as it is important to keep some of your secrets to yourself and have your own hobbies. Friends give you that space to let off steam therefore, having separate friends who let you be different and behave differently from when you are with your significant other is a necessity.