I’m going to share a little secret with you today. I’ve been in this dating game for about a decade now… A man has only cooked for me once. Yeah ONE, UNO, ACHIEL!!! And he only cooked for me because he thought he was in trouble…

He actually succeeded because when I saw what he had attempted to do, I was overwhelmed with pity…but that’s a story for another day. My thing is this: Do men, especially Kenyan men, know how far cooking for their women would take them? Me thinks they have no idea. What is it about the kitchen that completely terrifies them? The only time you will see a Kenyan man cooking is when he’s grilling meat for a one year old kid’s birthday party, who has no idea what is going on. And that, my friends, is not cooking.

Ever tried to get one of them to cook for you? I’ve heard all types of excuses. Some of them say that growing up, they were the only boy surrounded by eight sisters, therefore there was no need for learning how to cook. Well then!!! If I’m the only girl surrounded by eight brothers, does that mean I shouldn’t know what “Always” is??? Same difference. It’s a matter of survival. You have to eat so you need to learn how to cook for yourself. We get a visit from Aunt Flo so pads are kind of a necessity.

Then there’s the one who doesn’t even know what the kitchen looks like. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that the kitchen is no place for a man. I kid you not. Some men believe if they step into the kitchen with the intent to cook, God will strike them with a king size lightning bolt. My hubby falls into this category. I’m still trying to work on this so let’s keep this just between us. It’s hard though.

Men these days forget that we work just as hard as them, if not harder. We get up at the same God awful time of morning. Go through the same horrendous Nairobi traffic. We have the same work issues (read cranky boss). Battle the same traffic and still get home late. Only to face demands for a five-course meal from someone who then tells you he’s too tired to pick his shirt off the floor and aim for the laundry basket. It’s frustrating sometimes. So just how much do you think we’ll appreciate it if sometimes (not all the time, just sometimes) you borrow a leaf from Mwakwere and pleasantly surprise us?

Now let me tell you just how this benefits you men. If a woman works, it’s expected. If a man cooks, he’s a genius! When you cook for a woman, it tells us you are independent and reliable. It really impresses us. Just think! Yesterday you were a loser with no direction. Today, with a simple dish of rice and beef stew, you turn into marriage material. The father of my children even!!! In woman speak, we have no problems leaving you with the kids for a weekend. At least the kids will be fed and we can take some time off to relax. And we get to brag about you to our friends!!!

There are two things women are unable to resist: A man who can play a musical instrument and a man who can throw it down in the kitchen – and you can’t all be Joseph Hellon. So I don’t care what your trainer tells you to do at the gym every day, it will probably be easier and cost you less to get busy in the kitchen. If you can impress her in the kitchen, chances are she’ll give you a chance to show off your other skills. And you don’t have to make it look like it came out of a French kitchen in the heart of Paris either. Just stick to the basics. As long as it looks edible and smells good, you’re on the right track.

Gentlemen, nothing in the kitchen bites. And don’t be scared that if you do it once, we’ll make you prisoners of the kitchen. It just feels good to be pampered by you lot once in a while. And believe me, if you do, it will do wonders to reduce or eliminate our nagging. Try it!

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