Turning 30 is an achievement so…CONGRATULATIONS for making it to 30! Try being alive for 360 months, 1,565.32 weeks, 10,957.3 days- I will not get into the hours and seconds but believe me I could- and let’s not forget the unbelievable 3 decades! 3 decades people…THREE! Some of which were not so kind to you as two of them were spent in school. Big feat much? No jokes here. You deserve a pat on the back, a bottle or 3 of bubbly popped in your honor and maybe a party or two this year.
By 30, you’ve sort of become “your own life’s pundit”. In my own 30…I have learnt a lot. I have seen a lot. I have experienced a lot. I have achieved a lot! I can tell you for free that having lived for almost 1,565.32 weeks is no joke.
See, by 30 you know this for sure…
You have had your heart broken and broken a few hearts yourself so you’ve gotten used to it or even become immune to heartbreaks.
You have at least gone through that dark time when you thought you would die of heartache after those nasty break-ups but look at you now…30 and thriving!
You have gotten over the fact that your ex boyfriend got married before you.
Shortly after moving out of your folk’s house, you learnt (the hard way) that it is very important to budget for everything. Yup! You always remember that one time when you were almost forced by circumstances to forfeit food for a week because those shoes that you didn’t actually need pleaded with you to buy them.
Organizing your documents, including receipts and bills is necessary and saves you so much headache.
50% off is your favorite phrase and can change a frown into a smile in a record 0.2 seconds. Also, coupons, smart cards that encourage reward points, mobile money, and internet (not necessarily in that particular order) are life!
You have mastered most salad recipes because that’s the easiest and healthiest thing to make.
Once in a while popcorn can make a very good dinner option.
It’s too late to be that girl living in New York,so it is ok to set up your apartment to look like it belongs somewhere in Manhattan.
You have to invest in a long stem “Olivia Pope” wine glass because wine has become a staple on your shopping list.
Enjoying your thorough cleaning sessions which you’ve realized give you a work out is necessary! Even though by the end of cleaning you look and feel like you towed a tractor by yourself with your bare hands.
Your vision board needs regular upgrades. You just want what is in the magazines. The lovely homes, beautiful gardens, walk-in closets, spacious beautiful kitchens…
Books with titles like “Chasing Harry Winston” and “How to lose a husband and gain a life” are your pick-me-up books.
Books that leave you a little hot, bothered and very enlightened on steamy topics such as Paulo Coelho’s “11 minutes” have to be read.
You have had your first car, gotten attached to it and even gotten over it and while you were going through all these emotions you learnt a few things:
*It was probably your best and worst investment.
*More bills came into your life as those monthly premiums were not going to pay themselves so your shoes budget got a major chop!
*Befriending a Mechanic became mandatory and if he liked you back… win!
*You learnt to change flat tyres (even though you wouldn’t trust your car afterwards) and even your engine oil.
*You met handsome gentlemen who came to your rescue when your car randomly stalled mid-hill as darkness approached.
Also, being stuck in traffic can present you with those flirting opportunities with cute guys you know you will never see again.
*You had this conversation with a male over the phone
You: Hello Male, my car just stalled!
Male: Open the bonnet and check the engine
You: *opens the bonnet* Yup!I’ve checked and the engine is still there.
(Enter the most awkward 47 seconds of silence of your life)
*Your shoes lasted longer (major win!)
*The local store that is just 500 meters away all of a sudden became too great a distance to walk.
General life matters
Aunty Acid happened and she is obviously the realest female character ever! You almost wish she was real so that she could be your bestfriend aunty.
Your time has to be shared between any or all of these… work, your side hustle, your man, your dog, your books, your movies, TV (food shows and Who wants to be a millionaire must be watched), your wine, gossip sessions with your mama on a Sunday afternoon, Spa time, Salon time.
You have a choice to pick which weddings to attend because at this point you have attended way too many and most of them are always the same.
The best gifts include spa vouchers, gift certificates and Open return air tickets. Gifts like these can make one worship the ground you walk on.
The trip to graceful Greece that you’ve been dreaming of and saving for ever since you saw that advertisement on CNN many years ago or since watching “Sisterhood of the travelling pants” is almost nigh. “Dear bucket list, I see you frowning as we’re checking things off you one by one.”
Your teenage neighbor who gives you the “I-want-to-be-you-when-I-grow-up” look every time you walk past their house forcing you to wear longer skirts because you think her running to the window to catch a glimpse of you every day is the cutest compliment anyone has ever paid you.
Your memory can fail you sometimes so it becomes necessary to write reminders about your reminders.