I stopped using a vibrator. I even try to avoid pleasuring myself. Why, you may ask? It’s always different when I pleasure myself and I think my inability to experience an orgasm organically during sexual intercourse is a direct result of being able to make myself happy, too well.

Let’s face it, no man, no matter how good his bedroom skills, will be able to compete with a fancy rechargeable device that has an oscillating head that promises to light your fire and even comes with a manufacturer’s warranty. Always dependable, no emotional baggage, hits the right spot every time and is  available but never sticky.

I’m a 27-year-old woman who rarely orgasms when having sexual intercourse. I’ll be frank, I get more of a high when self-pleasuring than with a sexual partner. I feel that during sexual intercourse my sensations are less intense and somewhat uncomfortable instead of being pleasurable.

Masturbation is just so much easier. I know my own body better than anyone else would and I’m always in control. Sharing and articulating what my exact needs to someone else requires trust and bravery, which may not exist in every relationship.

Though it’s been difficult to let go of my toys, I’m in the process of training my body and its erogenous zones to become sensitised or desensitised again, naturally with human touch. Also on an emotional level, I believe I’ve been putting too much pressure on having an orgasm during sexual intercourse. It’s important to simply be in the moment and not labelling what you’re feeling. There is no right orgasm. I’ve also been trying to be more supportive of my partners and learning how to be more articulate with what my needs are.

I hope sharing my story with you will help those that may be experiencing the same struggles. Mother Nature created us the way we are and completely capable of experiencing orgasms naturally, so why do we need to depend on manmade technology?