1. Stroking of beard increases concentration and cognitive ability
2. The beard filters the air of toxins, pollution, and stray food
3. Natural animal and insect repellent when going on safari or taking a walk in the forest
4. Science has shown that beards rarely sleep
5. Beards are almost completely immune to sarcasm
6. A beard quadruples handsomeness
7. Beards act as a homing beacon attracting the jealousy and admiration of the beardless men who cannot grow one
8. Fits on your face
9. The beard acts as a bib and catches any dripping sauce before landing on your crisp white shirt
10. Beards are great visual aphrodisiacs – who doesn’t want to be tickled?