Why women love bad boys


Bad Boys. Love them or hate them, the fact remains that women just can’t get enough of them. I’ve had friends who were clearly dating guys that were so poisonous to their lives. Trying to get them to see how unhealthy the dude was for them was like convincing a certain friend (no names) that flats are so last season. I will also admit that I’ve dated a bad boy or two. Not my wisest decision. I don’t regret it really; the ride was fun while it lasted. However, we have to know when we’re past the phase when we can use age as an excuse for our shenanigans.


Dating a bad boy is quite exhilarating. We usually get into the trap because they know exactly what to say, how to say it, how to look at you, exactly where to touch you, etc. It’s like a well rehearsed play for them. They are experts at the game of seduction. For the expert bad boys, just a look is enough to have a woman’s brain turn to mush. Confidence is everything. Women love men who take charge and know what they want. Nice guys generally tend to be shyer than their counterparts, or slow to go for what they want. Basically they think too much.

This type of man is quite a rush to be around. There’s never a dull moment. He’s always on the move with what may seem brilliant ideas of things to do. While the regular nice guy may suggest dinner in town at 8.00pm two weeks away and actually show up on time, the bad boy is more likely to suggest a random trip to Naivasha, right after clubbing all night; no need to even stop by the house for some toiletries. Let me explain what you should deduce from these two scenarios. The nice guy suggests dinner because he wants to get to know you as a person. The bad boy is just out for some fun, if you happen to be there, cool. If not, life will go on…

Women are also attracted to bad boys for the drama. Yeah I said it. Drama is the reason why we watch Nigerian movies and Mexican soap operas. We feed off drama. We love to have quite a story for the girls at the weekly committee meeting (Shout out to my girls Audrey and Sarah!). Whether he stood you up, didn’t call when he said he would, had the nerve to walk out on you or made you pay the bill when he’s the one who asked you out, we all love drama. A nice guy is stable and predictable. And what’s the fun in that, right?

There’s also what I like to call the Mama Nani Syndrome. Women love challenges. They think no matter how bad a guy is, they have this supernatural nurturing power to change him. Seriously, if he was brought up by his mother and that’s how he turned out, there’s nothing you will ever do to make him a better person, or turn him into the man you want him to be. He can only be the man he was when you met him. Don’t have false hopes. If you met him drinking like a fish, be prepared to live with mafans wa Tusker (or wa Kumi Kumi as I see women in Central complaining). If you stole him from your pal, resign to the fact that he’s weak and will probably be stolen from you.


I know I’ve really pumped up the bad boys. The bad news is that, for most women, this is just a phase. Reality has to bite sooner or later. Right now, I only have time for a man who is focused about where he is going and what he wants from life. Someone who will inspire me to be a better version of me. My bad boy days are long gone. I once went out with a guy who had cornrows, sagged his jeans and always had on NBA jerseys (one NBA jersey according to Audrey and Shirley). I can’t even imagine what I was thinking at the time. It was fun while it lasted. I would definitely not make that mistake again although I’m forgiven due to age. So while you enjoy with the bad boy, make sure you don’t miss out on the nice guy.

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