The other day I was hanging out with a very close friend. We started talking about the different relationships of people we both know, and our past relationships. So I got to wondering, where does someone toe the line? What does your partner have to do for you to decide that you can’t be a part of that relationship anymore?
We all have our different thresholds for what we can and cannot tolerate. I’ll admit, most of us are a little harsher than others. To make things more complicated, women these days are self sufficient. They do not need to ‘vumilia’ in a relationship in which they are not happy. This has changed the dating parameters for men quite a bit. It’s not unusual to meet a man who has been dumped and does not have the slightest idea what went wrong. So let’s take a look at the things that really annoy women, to the point of throwing away the ring you bought her worth 50k.
Cheating: I don’t care what anyone says, cheating is the number one deal breaker! Well, at least for me it is. God help you if I find out you’re fooling around. I’d be even more upset if you are cheating and we’re married. I know some women choose to put up with this for various reasons, but there are more that just can’t. I know myself; it’s an instant deal breaker for me. I’m sorry but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with pictures flashing in my mind over and over again, of him in bed with HER. And anyway, why would you want to be with someone you can’t trust? Eventually, even if it’s after 20 years, that relationship will fail. So why not save yourself some time and more heartache?
Workaholic: A relationship can only work if there are TWO people involved. I can’t compete with someone’s work and I shouldn’t have to. I’m not saying that a man should neglect his career or his source of income. I’m just saying there should be enough time for me. I’m not one of those who have to be around my man 24/7. I know some girls who are even happy with one day a week. The schedule has to work for both of you. I know a girl who would see her man once every two months, if she was lucky. Now surely, does that even qualify to be called a relationship? Maybe I’m selfish, but if you don’t have time for a relationship, then DON’T GET INTO ONE!
Anger Management Issues: The guy may seem perfect and charming at first, but the more time you spend with him, the more you’ll notice his – ahem – “issues”. He’ll talk to you about how upset he got over something a normal person would shrug off without a second thought. Once he gets comfortable with you, beware. The snapping will most likely get directed at you. Warning: this guy will probably need to punch something (like a wall) to relieve his anger. And when the wall is not close enough, it’s your face. He needs therapy before he can decide to get into a relationship. And even then, I don’t know if I can make it with a guy with such a history…
Poor Hygiene: Chronic bad breath, disgusting body odour, and blackened or long finger nails all fall under the category of poor hygiene, which is just plain gross — and definitely a deal-breaker. Pass. I just can’t. You may think you can persuade him to clean up his act, but how can you be in a relationship where you’re scheming to change your man’s ways? And anyway, you’re supposed to be his lover, not his mama…
No Ambitions: They say misery loves company. If a man is not doing anything with his life, or even worse, does not want to do anything, chances are he’ll drag you right down along with him. When two people get together, they are supposed to build each other, not drag each other down. It may sound harsh, but if you’re not helping my life, why should I be with you? I want a man who will challenge me intellectually and push me to be the best I can be. A man who doesn’t know where he’s heading will only confuse your life and be a barrier to your success. Let go of him! I would, in a heartbeat.
So those are my top five deal breakers. I don’t think I’m being picky because in the long run, a relationship is supposed to uplift you. If you feel it’s no longer doing so, maybe it’s time to walk. Whatever your deal breakers might be, always remember never to settle for less than what you really want. You deserve the best – to have what makes you truly happy!