Dating 101: Never say this on your first date


One of the best dating advices I’ve been told is that men don’t know that they want a relationship until they have fallen for you. So, why is this bit of information so important?

Truth is many dating women make a mistake when it comes to sharing their desire of being in a relationship, especially early on. If a relationship is what you are looking for, why not be honest and share that with your potential…right?

On the one hand, you don’t want to come across as desperate by admitting that you’re on a mission to find the one and will stomp on anyone who gets in your way. But then, you don’t want to have to hide your desires, pretending you don’t want a relationship when you secretly do.

But if you’re on a first date or you’re still in the beginning stages of getting to know a guy, women, please, do not tell him you’re look for a relationship just yet.

Reason being? You’re actually not looking for a relationship. Really, you’re not.

As relationship guru Matthew Hussey shares, “you are looking for the right person.”

If it’s a relationship that you’re looking for, you would be in one already. We’ve idealized the concept of being in a relationship and one can be in one without actually being with the right person. As a result, many relationships don’t turn out well, there’s no passion or fun, partners are bored, you don’t enjoy each other’s company and so on so forth.

Another reason why you should not tell your date you’re looking for a relationship is because of two problems:

  1. Relationships scare men: If you demonstrate that you need to be with someone, it may come off of you being needy in general – sticky
  2. Men simply don’t know if they want a relationship or not until they have fallen for you

A first date or early stages of dating shouldn’t be an interview for a relationship. This stage should be geared around pure enjoyment.

“The only important questions are: Do I have fun with this person? Do I feel attracted to his personality? Is there an emotional and physical connection?” explains Hussey.

Until you know the answer to these questions, there’s no point in wasting your time on looking for the future.

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