Listening to my girlfriends speak may be compared to listening to a broken record or a song on repeat mode. It’s like they all share a relationship with the same man. “He doesn’t care about my feelings, he doesn’t love me ,he’s always hanging out with his boys instead of spending quality with me, he’s a cheap bastard, he’s not spontaneous’…the list goes on and on; you know the drill.
So I ask myself, is there anything such as a ‘perfect’ relationship or even something close to that? Or do women kid themselves by imagining there is one out there? And so I lend a sympathetic ear hoping that a conclusion to the problem will soon be reached.
For one, I know that women have always been viewed as very complex creatures. I agree with that but I still hold on to the fact that they are the most understanding and sensitive people in the world. Ask anybody.
Being complex only makes them more interesting and mysterious. But men sometimes seem to have an opposite reaction to that and interpret it for being stubborn, insecure, selfish or even clingy which is at times not the case at all.
Then the question is; what do women really expect from men in a relationship?
The key to that is to understand what your woman really expects from you. One thing men should know is that WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME AND WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. They may have the same tastes in clothes, laugh the same, talk the same, argue the same, have same interests, even same hairstyle but they will never have the same personality or what we call the ‘inner person’. I can try and sort of prove this.
Take your love life for instance. Do you see a definite pattern or do you see a different one between your current girlfriend and the previous one? Leave alone the physical attributes, I mean emotional or psychological.
(If your girlfriends have a pattern then you must be a special case).But what you’ll see is that men will never settle for the same kind of girl twice. There will always be a unique difference between his ex and his current. And that is why women do not also like to be compared with previous girlfriends because deep down they know why you chose her. Appreciating the type of qualities that your woman has and why she is truly unique and special to you is step number one.
Step number two is really understanding the woman you are with. This will include anything from character down to the way she handles matters.
Women in general love to be with caring men, men who will always cater to their needs. Now that’s the trickiest part. What needs? Well, find out! that’s your job. Its one of the keys to unlocking the secrets of a good relationship. Finding your woman’s needs and catering to them will be like hitting the jackpot.
True it might be emotionally exhausting at times, but the reward is better than even fine gold. You don’t have to cater to all of them, but the effort will be duly noted and she will always treat you better than most men are. Take it as investing on a worthy project and you know the benefits will definitely out weigh the losses.
Let me give you a little secret: if u treat a woman the way that she should be treated you are going to get twice what you hoped to gain. Why do you think they ‘fall in love’ with these soap stars who are miles away and whom they don’t even know? It’s because they think such men only exist in fantasies. Why don’t you try and prove that notion wrong?
Step number three is maintaining the pace. So yes you have managed to win her heart, you have catered to half if not all her needs and she is happy. That is not the end. In fact, that’s where I think men slack all the time. The winner is not always the keeper. Men in a relationship seem to get bored easily and forget the fire they started with in the beginning. It’s even worse if you are in a marriage and the oil just gets burned out like that. You stop being romantic, spontaneous, a GENTLEMAN (emphasis on this), caring, or even adventurous in bed. The man who you were before dies an eternal death; it’s like an act before the curtain finally closes down. That should never be the case, do not let that happen if you truly love or adore the woman who’s in your life. Experiment on stuff. Be interesting. Keep her guessing. I’m sure if this was the case the number of divorcees would reduce drastically…don’t you?