The LifesScript Editorial Staff took their time to compile this list of things you need to know about men.
Think you’ve got men figured out after years of observation and interaction? Think again. Men and women are different, there’s no two ways about it. But understanding your guy – and accepting what makes him the testosterone-packing specimen you love – will help strengthen your relationship.
Below are 5 more of the deciphering factors of the male species:
#6) He notices when you let yourself go…
He’ll probably never tell you, but your guy doesn’t adore you regardless of how you look, especially when it comes to weight gain (except pregnancy) or letting your appearance slip. If you stop hitting the gym, trade those short skirts that won his heart for frumpy sweats, or no longer bother to comb your hair, he’ll still love you, but odds are he’ll long for the old you.
He might even wonder if you’ve stopped caring about him if you stop caring about how you look when he’s with you. Ask if he thinks you look fat, and he’ll lie to avoid hurting your feelings. But he still may let you know in more subtle ways. The way you looked when he fell in love with you is the way he wants you to stay forever.
Never take for granted the importance of physical attraction in your relationship. Look good for your guy, and you’ll feel better about yourself. And more self-confidence means you’ll have a happier and sexier relationship. He’ll probably work harder to keep himself fit and attractive for you, too.
#7) His libido lacks when…
Men’s problems in bed usually have nothing to do with your cup size. In fact, most guys’ sack-time snafus have little to do with you at all. Here are 10 reasons why he really goes soft in the face of opportunity:
-He’s not the man of steel he used to be.
-His expectations are unrealistic.
-He’s got a big belly.
-He’s got a chronic illness brewing.
-He’s got other things on his mind.
-He’s not getting enough zzz’s.
-He’s carrying baggage from a prior relationship.
-He’s in awe of your sexual confidence.
#8) He doesn’t like all of your friends…
Chances are your guy likes your self-involved, basket-case girlfriend about as much as you like his beer-chugging, womanizing buddy. He probably wonders why you hold on to the friendship, and he might even wish you’d end it. After all, he’s the one you vent to about her. But he’s not about to open Pandora’s box by telling you his true feelings.
He doesn’t have to like all your friends; he just has to be civil to them for your sake, unless, of course, those friends are trying to sabotage your relationship. Next time you feel the urge to gripe about your friends to your guy, remember that he’s filing away everything you say – and he may not be able to forget and forgive as easily as you do.
#9) He can’t read your mind…
Like it or not, men and women communicate differently. One of the biggest differences? Our expectations.
Just because you’ve been together forever doesn’t mean “I shouldn’t have to ask him what I want – he should just know!” You can’t expect him to know exactly what you’re thinking or feeling, and get angry or hurt when your needs and wants aren’t addressed.
If you’re hinting to your hubby about how exhausted you are, don’t fully expect him to know that what you’re really saying is “I want you to put the kids to bed and do two loads of laundry for me tonight.” If he doesn’t pick up on your clues, it means he’s a man – not that he doesn’t love you.
Instead of expecting him to read your mind and hoping he takes the initiative or gets the hint, be more assertive and ask pointedly for what you want. Your guy does ultimately want to please you. He just needs a push in the right direction.
#10) He takes it personally when you nag…
Finding fault with people – especially our loved ones – is easy. So is getting into the habit of mercilessly criticizing your partner. While your guy may joke about your nagging to his friends, he’s probably not finding it funny on the inside. You might think you’re offering gentle reminders or that you’re being justifiably critical, but the more you nag, the more he’ll tune you out.
Pointing the finger at someone else is easier than dealing with your own issues. But never being at fault can be tiresome to a husband who isn’t always to blame either.
Stop this vicious cycle by treating your hubby as an equal. And remember, for the most part you knew the man you married when you got hitched; it’s unfair to now criticize him for being the man you chose to marry.