The Good-on-Paper Guy is the one who, by all accounts, is a great person for you to date: He’s smart and cute and has a good job that he likes and has a lot of friends who vouch that he’s an all-around great guy. He sounds perfect.
But sometimes, no matter how great that guy actually is, he just isn’t the right guy for you. The reasons can be difficult to pinpoint, and it can be really hard to walk away from dating someone who seems like such a catch (especially when everyone else thinks you’re crazy to let him go). But you always know, somewhere deep inside, when you just don’t have the right emotional connection to a guy even if you really do think he’s one of the good ones. Here are a few signs he might be good on paper but in life, he’s just not right for you:
You like the stuff you do with him better than you actually like him. If he’s great at planning fun dates (always a positive quality!), you could be having a really fun time with him without noticing if you’re having a really great time just because you’re with him. No one is saying you have to stop having adventures, but if you wouldn’t look forward to at least the occasional night just hanging out with him on the couch doing nothing, he’s not your guy.
You forget about him. Sitting by the phone waiting for a guy to call or text gets old fast, so it can be a great thing to be with a guy you feel sure about. On the other hand, if you not only don’t wait for him to get in contact but you regularly forget to return his messages for hours or days after he sends them, he’s probably not on your mind enough to matter.
You don’t feel excited when he kisses you. And, yes, I mean that kind of excited. You can’t fake it even if your head is telling you he’s so great.
You think about your ex or other guys. If you notice a cute guy or occasionally compare a new guy with your ex-boyfriend, that’s no big deal. But if you’ve been dating someone for a while, and you’re still really hung up on your last relationship or can’t stop thinking about your office crush, you need to reevaluate. It doesn’t necessarily mean your ex or your crush is the right guy for you, but it could mean this guy isn’t right either.