The politics of size

(BY OYUNGA PALA) Size matters. In the male psyche, size is linked directly to performance.  We have a whole generation of men over 20 weaned on third rate underground porn where size and stamina were the dominating themes. Every college campus had the recycled tale about that ‘guy’ who made women beat a path to his door and I can tell you, it was not because they needed help with term papers.

Previously, sexual prowess was implied. The polygamist with his many contented wives and homestead teaming with young ones was viewed as the epitome of masculinity. Well, matters have changed drastically over the years. We live in the pleasure generation. These days, given the exposure, our young women come into bed with huge expectations. In our version of the new world order, women know what to expect and part of that promise lies in first impressions.  Show up to bed looking right and one half of the psychological battle is won.

This must explain why we are silently witnessing an emergence of a penile enlargement market.   Turn to the back page of most mainstream dailies and you will spot ads in the classified section all targeting “men’s problems” which can be safely summarized as sexual performance related. Men are borrowing a cue from the women by embracing the miracle of science. If you feel you are not properly represented in the penile department, you can do something about it. So bigger is better is the emerging male mantra because it gives the false assurance that with big all else will be well. Image is everything after all. Look at the size of security details that cover top brass politicians. Look at the size of their houses.  Big may not necessarily be better but it is definitely still seen as impressionable.

Often, the counter argument given by women against this obsession is that size does not matter. You must be familiar with lazy rationalization.  It is not the size. It is what you do with it that counts. Yet, I have never heard a woman marvel at the size of a man’s small feet. I have never heard a girl complain that a guy’s car was too big.  Never heard a woman say she was leaving because her husband’s bank balance just kept on rising. Somehow they conveniently forget that they may be no ‘doing’ if you fail to make a ‘big’ first impression. As for second impressions, that is usually the woman’s prerogative.

The sad fact is that when all the yakking dies down, women will still insist that you look right for bed by not interfering with the preferred ideal. It is the sort of backlash that the modern man gets for all those years of pushing for a near perfect feminine ideal.  Interestingly while men are starting to get over their fashion-model body type fixation and expanding their view to accommodate the voluptuous, women are moving more towards perfect ideals. They now insist on the combination. In the past era, finance was the bigger trigger. Nowadays, if you have money and cannot fix your body; you probably do not have enough to go around. It has nothing to do with health but rather appearances. The new woman is not really into bulges and pot bellies.  Since most women can manage quite well on their own these days, the man has to be seen to be representative of her aspirations; the perfect match that is bound to make her friends madly envious of her. Looks and money is a rare combination to find in men. Prosperity and well toned bodies are strange bedfellows in the male sphere. When prosperity enters the scene, youthful looks are usually nudged out of way.

But women are on top these days and they want their equivalent male ideals. Perhaps, you did not know this, but younger women, at least the urban variety have started to objectify men by their buttocks.   Every time, you walk down the office corridor, there is a woman checking out your rear view. It is very tit-for-tat reaction. I guess since six packs and chiseled arms are hard to come by, the backside is a fair compromise. I suppose it shows that potentially you won’t disappoint when the clothes come off. Once again, it is all about size. Not too big and spread, or ironed out for that matter. So in conclusion, if you thought size did not matter, think again.  The future it appears is in the hands of plastic surgeons.

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