(By OYUNGA PALA) The pressures of contemporary living have reduced the value of fatherhood to a sperm donor and a cash dispenser. A father is only as good as the bills he pays or the genes he provides. At least that is what a lot of mothers bring up their boys to believe. That ‘good-for-nothing father of yours’ probably failed to meet his financial obligations to the family and in the process lost his respect and dignity in the eyes of his wife and children. For the good part, fathers are seen but not felt.
Boys pick up these cues and internalize their mothers’ ingrained prejudices and bitterness towards their fathers and growing up into insecure adults overcompensating for their inadequacies. Kenya’s social scene is littered with numerous examples of grown men crying out for validation. Men spend their whole lives totally unaware of their motivations, clueless as to why they react in certain ways and forever trying to be something that only exists in the fertile imagination of a woman’s desires.
Here are a few harsh truths that your dad should have told you, to help boot you out of the garden of illusion.
Society celebrates a man who can acquire and sleep with as many females as possible because in Kenya, we celebrate greed. The man who has more than he needs is assumed to be the happiest. It is a myth but since most people insist that you look happier riding in a Range Rover, you will be inclined to believe they are right.
A man with money does not need to be a gentleman or have a flat belly. Good manners and looks may make a few female heads turn but what really gets a woman’s heart racing is the assurance of security. Given a choice between good looks and money, the average woman would prefer a man’s inner beauty. Beautiful women will leverage their looks to extract more financial resources and higher quality genetic materials from superior alpha males, so expect to be passed up for the player with money.
Size does matter. Women generally prefer men who are more physically endowed. Phallic worship is the woman’s best kept secret. When nature and genes denies one girth and length, there is still a way out. This is why men overcompensate for their lack of size. Generally, even if you show up short between the sheets, women will forgive you if the car you drive stands tall.
Contrary to belief, you will be judged by your sexual performance. Attached women feel obligated to lie about performance because they believe the fragile male ego can’t handle the truth. The best way to become a skilled lover is to sleep with as many women as possible because feedback and experience is invaluable in harnessing a sexual skill. However, in your youth when you have stamina and time to do this, most women won’t be the least bit interested in bedding you. Soon after marriage, settled and secure, on meds, the same women who wouldn’t pay you mind, will bang down your door begging to be let in.
Generally in life, you tend to get what you want, when you don’t need it.
You are the director of your life. First learn to be yourself because given a chance; a woman will shape a man in her own image.