Good guys (and girls) finish last


There’s this trend on the dating scene that many people I asked about cannot completely wrap their heads around. Look on your twitter feed and it’s like the more of an ass hole you are the more you get girls. Seriously think about it; it’s like in almost every sitcom now there’s a character that’s a complete douche but has more chics than a fast food joint.

I am irredeemably a good guy. It’s completely beyond me how being a jerk works in your favor until I had the opportunity to try it out. I was at a nice bar for a rugby match after party. A friend of mine had come to watch me play; she’s the kind of girl who likes girls so she’d come over with her girlfriend who in turn brought another girl who I had not previously met.

I entered the bar I had already said hi to the first two girls and was pleasantly surprised to find a good looking girl seated with my friends. I said a hearty “Hi there” to her; she turned my way, looked at me head to toe and then says “No, not in those glasses no.”  Being the good guy I am I didn’t get why she was being a jerk. Then I thought, when in Rome, do the Romans or rather do as the Romans. I never seem to get that saying right. Quickly I answered her with a smile “Come on dear, lower your standards a little bit…” She rolled her eyes. Again I started “Lower your standards a little bit, I’m lowering mine, I’m here flirting with you.”

She had a sense of humour and laughed at that. So I ask my other two friends if they’d have a drink, I had had a good game so the drinks were on me. So this girl I just met asked me if I was going to offer her a drink too. It’s plain impolite to offer the other two girls a drink and skip her. So I looked at the bar man Leonard and I say, “Leonard, mpatie ile drink anakunywa, na akimaliza mpe bill yake pia!!!”  (Leonard give her another of what she’s having and when she’s done give her the bill too). Believe it or not that girl was won over, lock, stock and chrome lined barrel!


There are several reasons why good guys finish last: The first one is: Good guys and girls are too available. There’s a rule in psychology called the rule of scarcity. When something is available all the time it seems less valuable. Think about it, that nice guy who’s always there to pick you up from events at two in the morning and drop you off at your place without trying to get one over you never gets any. Guys may call it the thrill of the chase or whatever but once someone is overly available they appear less valuable. Thus the reason the overly supportive wife gets sidelined for the voluptuous sales rep at work.


Secondly good guys and girls reward bad behavior. When you mistreat us good people we quickly overlook that. That guy or girl who can ignore their partner for a couple of days and when they finally call all they get is “I’m happy you’re OK I was worried..” has no incentive to change. That good guy or good girl in that relationship will forever come in last.

Finally good guys and girls don’t make their partners invest in relationships. Because good guys and girls are always available, always forgiving, always understanding always overlooking; their partners never need to invest much emotion or other resources in the relationship, if it was to end at the drop of a hat their partners would not have as much to lose and thus good guys and girls come in last.

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