Why are women in their 30s still single?



Have you noticed that there are so many women in their 30s nowadays that are still very single? By very single I mean, they are not married, wouldn’t be bothered to start looking for a man right now, have never been married and have no children whatsoever – and no prospects of that situation ever changing!

Yes, that is the situation in town and especially in Nairobi where you will find the upwardly mobile career woman who has it all career-wise and feels nothing for relationships.

I overheard a debate one day that quite intrigued me. A bunch of both women and men (probably in their 30s) were arguing that back in their day they were taught to be disciplined and passionate about work, being successful in school and that work had to come first.

The argument continued…Men in their 30s cannot successfully date their age mates as most women who fall in this age bracket are very career focused or focus on just making it in life hence are very much equal to their men making it difficult to create a strong relationship bond.(You know men and their ego and about who wears the pants in the relationship).

They proceeded to say that the ladies born in the 80s are not so hardworking and that their priorities are all over the place and therefore have time for relationships.

That she (the 80s girl) was not pushed as much to be overly successful or ambitious, that she was more babied -to be precise.

The men therefore then opt for much younger girls in their early 20s who may not be interested in getting married in the short term. This makes most single women in their 30s stuck with flings, or dating younger men… with zero marriage prospects.

…Need I say that I completely disagree with all that! Which brings me to my argument on this issue.single_4445906_109284354.jpg

See, I was born in the mid 80s and I have a fair share of friends whom I went to school with and are now pilots, aeronautical engineers (my former desk mate), advocates and doctors and I even know of two who are currently pursuing their PhD -talk about focus.

So I didn’t quite understand their argument. If its ambition, then everyone (born in whichever decade) has it! In my books their argument wasn’t really valid.

So many of my friends have flourishing careers, can afford the finer things in life and can still find time to maintain healthy relationships.

Does this mean that since girls born in the 80s work hard and still make time to play are more at ease with life? And are eating life with a big spoon?

A certain 30-something woman successful in her career says “We’ve become too westernized and aren’t willing to settle. We’re too independent, demanding and self-centered to sustain relationships. Our generation is torn between being traditional in a very forward thinking setting.”

But then I know of 30-something women who would beg to differ. I’m talking about those who are seriously still looking for husbands. Some even forced to become cougars. Hmmm… so who wins in this battle of the decades?

Feel free to share your sentiments.



  • In Kenya workers have become smarter than the managers and the investors, apparently; and our legislators who are not even able to meet academic threshhold…… wacha tu. If they’re SO smart, why don’t they start their own companies we see? And they’re free to REFUSE to employ Naikuni!

  • Ben

    smh… Let’s play a game… I’m thinking of an adjective. “lacking in depth”

  • Joshua

    The single ladies in their 30s are so disrespectful , some thought what their getting is better and started looking down at their hustling boyfriend seeing them as a weakness , these ladies see money power fame and thought that’s what life is about , they forgot the values of a wife and wanted to be equal to men, these women see money as everything these women never encourage a man but criticize even in front of her pals these women only seek babies and consider it a life achivement, these women wanna be in bars till late yet there is a child at home , these women invest in secret always knowing at some point they will walk away …..that is why they are single

    • rogers

      joshua thats it , clearly contexted.

    • Ella

      Heh.. ok, we getting personal, aint we? this happened to you ama?

  • raph

    this article states nothing to be honest…falacy of false generalisation…

    • Mayz

      I agree with this comment

  • Sir Joe

    I read this article this morning. I have actually given much thought to the topic. As single guy first approaching 30, I had to pause and mull over it. I had a lunch date today who simply bumped me off. Today’s woman does not need a husband. She has her own money, her own ‘everything’. Similarly today’s man has become careless and irresponsible. We are at a bad place

  • Nibbs

    Getting a husband is not about needing money or security, we are not in the cave age. Marriage is about sacrifice for a person you care about & want to spend a lifetime with, so the issue is one of selfishness.
    But I put it into perspective, If you are being selfish it just means you haven’t found someone worthy enough to sacrifice for. Although this isn’t as straight forward as this e.g. Men who are supposed to be eligible want to run around like kids in their 20’s with money or women buying into the whole western independence charade.
    In the end, we live with our choices. When you are 70 and all alone, you’ll only have yourself to blame.

  • Syd Embenzi

    Your site is awful keeps reloading all the time.

  • Mwanaume ni effort

    Im a decent God fearing guy. Mid 30’s but very skinny with no money to write home about. A wannabe farmer. If there be a lady who’d lower her bar alittle, you’ll find a loving guy at king-_-solomon[at]hotmail

  • Patriot

    Because some men are gay, and the straight ones just dont wanna settle down now.

  • kittwo

    It’s not complicated: they simply haven’t met me!

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