4 reasons why men go MIA

Why do guys go MIA – missing in action that is? I’m not talking about disappearing and falling off the face of the Earth after a few dates, or even the first month because we all know, if the guy you’re seeing disappears early on, lack of a better way to put it – he simply isn’t interested anymore. Sorry.

I’m talking about the MIA act after a year of seeing or dating each other, whatever you want to call it. Basically, you and your potential have managed to maintain regular communication for a long period of time. Then poof, just out of the blue, gone.

Men pull the disappearing act quite often, but ladies out there, have you ever wondered what the deal really is before jumping to conclusions that he’s a douche?


Reason one: Tactical retreat

I don’t know any man that has never pulled a disappearing act, but sometimes the disappearing act is also an ingenious tactical retreat.

There are women out there that start naming their future babies on the first date, and by the third, they’ll be shopping for family grave plots. I was told once that men simply require more time to commit and fall for a partner, usually, way past six months. Anything before that, ladies, let that be a warning flag.

Moral of the story: perhaps the man you’re seeing and you are neither on the same page nor timeline. And, after a year’s time, it’s either systematically bailing or diving into a relationship he’s not sure of head first.

“Disappearing” is cowardly and definitely inexcusable, but perhaps after a year, your man just needs a break to think about whether he’s ready to commit to a relationship, and perhaps it’s time for you to think about whether this is the one or have you settled?


Reason two: Laziness

Some men are just out to have fun and having a “go-to” person for emotional support who also conveniently satisfies their sexual tension is all they really want.

For these men, putting up with all the drama, actively chasing and pleasing a woman is just not worth the trouble. This batch can be referred to as lazy, spineless, big-footed giant or simply, a greasy tool.

If he’s that lazy and cowardly, ladies take that as a huge sign that he’s not into you and you should just leave him on his couch alone, wanking.


Reason three: He’s really that busy

After not hearing from your potential for almost a week, your mobile finally rings and the handsome face of your guy flashes on the screen…as you pick up the phone you’re overwhelmed with feelings of relief…the man has called…

You’ve searched long and hard, and finally, you’ve found an ambitious fella that’s really working hard for the future. Yay! Or is it nay?

This may be wishful thinking, but no, your man doesn’t have a second family, he’s not gay nor has he been arrested; he’s just ridiculously busy with his career and disappeared for a week.

Though this one has shown signs of being a thoughtless fool, ladies you can forgive this one as long as he understands after a year of dating you, he absolutely cannot leave you hanging and cut off all communication at all. The thoughtless fool could’ve easily left a note or even a SMS.

Beware of this one. Remember, three strikes and he’s out.


Reason four: He did something wrong

Whether you’re a woman or a man, pride is always a difficult thing to negotiate. Who likes to admit wrongdoing? Women can live with letting their pride go sometimes and ask a complete stranger for a tampon, but men will even find it difficult going to a store to buy tampons still in a package for a woman that they love. Women embrace vulnerability, and men, well, would rather be caught dead than admitting they’re wrong or ask for help, especially from a woman.

Remedy: The man goes *poof* for a while.


NOTE: Seriously, what if it was a relationship with great potential. Wouldn’t it absolutely suck if over a cowardly MIA disappearance act that you’ve wasted a good relationship! It would be a shame… Gents and ladies please learn to just talk it out and keep the communication channels open, and we all know how much women love to communicate. Next thing you know, you guys are in a tight embrace and all is forgiven.

Kudos to the couple that pushes through the hard times. Persevering is the only way to grow together as a couple.

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  1. CharlesK November 17th, 2011 at 10:24 am

    Nice msg and lovely articulated piece!

  2. Segbernto November 18th, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    There are those who just breaks the ice berg,and hit out on a gal
    only to realize that the gal is the type who wants to be pestered,and the guy doesn’t have that hell of time to do so,….so she loses out on that cool may be ‘Mr Right ‘ guy.
    Ladies [some] should really learn to know what they exactly want. 

  3. trey candy October 3rd, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    that’s a nice one there!!!!!!

  4. African Masala October 3rd, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    “Women embrace vulnerability, and men, well, would rather be caught dead
    than admitting they’re wrong or ask for help, especially from a woman.” Thank God not all men are this insecure and childish.

  5. simon November 13th, 2013 at 11:30 am

    i did number one,when i called her later she hit the roof,and the relationship..fill in the blanks.not to mind that she had at one point done the same to me.


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