Chips funga (v, used with females): a condition in which a woman proceeds to the lodgings or abode of a member of the [usually] opposite sex after being convinced through different methods inc., but not restricted to, coercion, major kiswahili, chemikali, and black out, and sometimes wakes up in the morning and proceeds to do the Walk of Shame.

sausage funga (v, used with males): see chips fungwa.

I was listening to Lyfe Jennings’ single Statistics off his new album, I Still Believe. That song preaches it like there is no tomorrow!

 

RULE #1

Don’t be a booty call

If he don’t respect you girl he gon forget you girl

RULE #2

If he’s in a relationship

If he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you

RULE #3

Tell him that you’re celibate

And if he wants some of your goodies he gon have to work for it

RULE #4

Be the person you wanna find

Don’t be a nickel out here lookin’ for a dime

I wonder, what defines relationships these days? Or rather, what defines the dating scene? A typical night out at the rave consists of a group of friends going out for drinks and a night of fun. At one point there is a sort-of “courtship” ritual that goes on. The guys have seen some chics they like and are out on the prowl… Ladies are acting coy as the guys are busy being innovative in their attempts to impress the ladies in question. Before long, it is time to leave and those who are successful will have their chips funga or sausage funga (after all, we are in the times of liberated women who take away the guys).

It is the superfluous things for which men sweat.*

What, really, is the point? Does it mean that old school courting is out of the window? Could it be that our ways of doing things are contributing to the major vacancies in people’s hearts that come about after a short period? Are there people out there who are fed up with the status quo?

*Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 BC-65) Roman philosopher and playwright.