Can your ex be your clande?

I used to think that chics who messed around with their exes had issues. That was up until I woke up in my ex’s bed this morning and wished I could slap myself across the face real hard. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. These instances usually occur at a time when you’re in the dark depths of maneuvering the single life. You don’t have any serious prospects, no one is really blowing up your phone anymore. You’re bored, sad, and home alone on a Saturday night. Your thoughts begin to wander into forbidden territories as you sit reminiscing of better days.


That was me last night. I was slumped over on the couch nibbling on stale carrot sticks wondering why I had really made that decision to be ‘single for a while’. It certainly didn’t feel as liberating as I thought it would in that moment. To make matters worse I was sitting there watching MTV where someone thought it would be funny to play a cruel joke on me and play all of my break-up songs back to back. First up was Maxwell’s ‘Pretty Wings’; a song that makes me cry while I’m smiling. Then they played Rihanna’s ‘Russian Roulette’ and I returned to that dark place of unanswered questions and unrequited love. And finally to top it all off, Chris Brown’s ‘Crawl’ came on and I simply lost it. I could’ve sworn someone was messing with me.

As I sat there staring at the screen wondering if I would ever crawl back to love again, my phone rang. It was a number I had deleted off my phone but I knew it all too well. My ex was calling. He asked whether I wanted to meet up for a drink and somehow in-between my heart pounding a mile-a-minute I agreed to go see him. At that point I didn’t know what to think. I was excited, confused, anxious, and curious; all at the same time. Why would he call me out of the blue when we hadn’t spoken in weeks? Was he just scrolling through his phone and all his other ‘chips’ were busy tonight so he decided to call me out of desperation? Whatever the case, I didn’t really care. I needed to get off that couch.

After spending way too much time trying on outfits I settled on one and headed out to meet my ex at a club. Not much had changed…he was as handsome as ever. I tried to fight off his attempts to hold my hand until I had finished my first drink. By the time I was on my second cocktail all inhibitions went out the window. It was the full teenage make-out in public thing and I was loving it. The conversation was limited to things like ‘Oh, I’ve missed you so much’, ‘I cant seem to get you out of my system’ and other such nonsense.

A few drinks later we were in the car headed back to his place. Things were getting heated and moving very fast. It was like a scene out of one of those movies where clothes are being ripped off and your hair is flying around ever so sexily. It was at this point that I believe the cocktails had gotten the best of me and I proceeded to make an irreparable mistake. Somewhere in the heat of the moment I blurted out that I love him. Those three words brought things to a screeching halt and he whispered out a surprised ‘what?’. Talk about sobering up instantly! “Did I really just say that?”, I mumbled while trying to laugh it off. Somehow that moment managed to pass and we went on to have mediocre sex.


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  1. Avatar Cskim January 1st, 1970 at 12:00 am

    nyc. bt it sounds made up which articles afterall are bt…

  2. Avatar njeri January 1st, 1970 at 12:00 am

    Mutinda i totally feel you. every time you say its the last time. Been there, DID that. all i can say, this too shall pass. stop watching the sappy music videos, they make it all worse. Dance to head pumping rock or techno or club beats- No Maxwell, Vivianne Green stuff nana. Play those rock Black Eyed Peas and just dance away! xOXO

  3. Avatar webu January 1st, 1970 at 12:00 am

    nice 1.. this is common, however i dont kno wea it stops, may be wen u realize tat ua on the loosin end. The question is wat if ua x is better than the next…face the fact.

  4. Avatar sunzy900 January 1st, 1970 at 12:00 am

    you must have followed me around last weekend only i went to meet mine in a club out of town. but am right there with you

  5. Avatar janice January 1st, 1970 at 12:00 am

    hey i feel you, its like your telling my embarrasing story right up to the i love you bit, yuck……….anyway its a moment and as moments go, it will pass too and you will look back and laugh it off, hopefully not in another ex's bed!

  6. Avatar fauzia January 1st, 1970 at 12:00 am

    ooch its soo sad, ex- issues

  7. Avatar celina January 1st, 1970 at 12:00 am

    I completely feel you.. I have been doing the same thing for about a month now..It's always easier to go to an EX because you already know them. Don't beat yourself up too much.If it's just having fun with no strings, go for it. It's safer with him than with some stranger from a bar.

  8. Avatar vickie January 1st, 1970 at 12:00 am

    i think u were dreaming gal.i always dream that my ex would be like u

  9. Avatar Steve Muriithi June 18th, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    LMFAO!! One of the best stories ave read so far!

  10. Avatar Velma Vee June 18th, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    I could not help laughing throughout the entire article! So damn true. You must be another version of me

  11. Avatar Sarah Wangu June 18th, 2013 at 5:35 pm

    It ended sadly, pple are different, for me once a man is done with me, I also put on the same attitude and the love that was there is replaced with resentment, even when I see him, I feel nothing and feel good that I left such…….

  12. Avatar Nick June 18th, 2013 at 7:24 pm

    ha, am thinking, aint it being cheap?

    1. Avatar Sarah Wangu June 19th, 2013 at 6:02 pm

      ofcourse it is being really cheap…


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