Say what you mean, and mean what you say


Am I saying too little?  Am I saying too much?  Will I scare him away?  Perhaps I should spin the truth…  I don’t know why she’s mad, she said it was nothing!

Sounds familiar?  Thoughts that we’ve all been guilty of thinking before?

In a generation where saying what you really mean seems to be an archaic practice, it’s refreshing to find comfort in the fact that the truth, whether bad or good, will always be heard.

Similar to the 1999 romantic drama, Message in a Bottle, recently a real-life message-in-a-bottle, carrying a heartfelt note to a woman named Mary thrown into the Canadian Atlantic, washed ashore 8,000 kilometres away in Croatia, 28 years later, finally found and read.

“Mary, you are really great person. I hope we can keep in correspondence. I said I would write. Your friend forever, Jonathon, Nova Scotia, 1985.”

Perhaps the author at the time, like so many of us, succumbed to circumstances, bad timing or just old-fashion pride, which ultimately prevented him from sharing his true thoughts to Mary.  One must wonder, if Mary had received this message 28 years earlier, what would have happened?  Perhaps nothing would’ve happened.  Maybe Mary is married?  Did Mary ever wonder why he never wrote?  Is Mary even alive?

Time on Earth is finite, and frankly speaking, there’s not enough time to waste away with the what-ifs and maybes.

If people actually said what they meant, all the time, we would be living in a world of understanding.  If you’re finding it hard to be heard, it’s probably because you’re not saying what you actually mean.

Researchers have found that we are more likely to go along with things when we see others doing so, which can be applied to communication and creating mutual understanding between two individuals.  If one starts to tell the truth, the other will also follow.

Deceit can have long-term consequences.  Don’t be short-sighted; think about how your untruthfulness can make impressions on your relationships with others.

Don’t speak in riddles like The Hatter in Alice and Wonderland; say what you mean, and mean what you say.

It’s never too late; even if it’s 28 years later.  So, if you’re struggling to tell someone how you feel today, don’t miss the opportunity, embrace it and say what you really mean – only then can you be heard.


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