To date is to lie…

Dating 101

(BY KEN OUKO) The unsung principle in male interpretation of dating is that he who dares to tell the truth misses out on the fun of dating. In male-speak the smoothest liar wins the fairest of them all while the truthful old soul ends up with the village-mode rejects. Amazing, but the truth remains that the reality of dating is founded on its falsetto driveline. The best dater is he who, in the face of adversity, charms his way out of the situation and into the heart (or pants) of the she that he is with.

To the male mind, lies told during dating are of little consequence, either because they may easily be undone by the intensity of subsequent affection or because the dating process is not meant to last long enough for truthfulness to become necessary. Much has been said about the fact that there are only two categories of men; the Serial Daters and the Multiple Daters. Serial Daters are those men who swing from one woman to the next and ensure that the process does not last too long. Multiple Daters are those who use the process to swing with two or more women simultaneously.

When asked, most men will say that they indulge in the serial option for the simple reason that to last too long with one woman is to court the whole bundle of trouble politely known as Commitment. To such men, Commitment need not necessarily be of marital orientation. Commitment is simply the virus spread from woman to man when they spend too much time dating. Sometimes, the serial daters invoke the “conquer and expand” war strategy of territorial expansion. To such men, it never matters how sassy or sexy the woman they are presently with is, since there is always the prospect of a sassier, sexier option somewhere on the horizon.


In the minds of Multiple Daters, dating is a power and domination game, and the only way to perfect it is to perfect the “octopus option” of spreading one’s tentacles with such stealth and slither that those trapped under do not even notice they are in a hopeless situation. Such men are strong advocates of the misplaced and traditional concept of male superiority. In their minds, being a man is imaged by one’s ability to lord over multiple date-mates at the same time. To them, the raw fun of dating is to be found in the thrills and the attendant dangers of juggling simultaneous date-mates.

The common thread that sews these two broad categories of daters together is the fact that they are both pathological liars. As opposed to the Monogamous or Singular Dater, Serial or Multiple Daters always rely on the perfection of a concoction of lies as a survivalist tool.

Amazingly, research reveals that most women are all too aware of the lies they are told by men… and yet elect to play along! This may explain why the typical urban woman has become a replica of the male Serial or Multiple Daters.  In fact, men are only just discovering that urban women are themselves adapting to (and, alarmingly, becoming adept at)  the serial/multiple dating options. Watch this space for an examination of male-female rivalry in spinning lies during dating and who is winning the game.      



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