I think my man suffers from delayed ejaculation


So often in Kenya do we keep things hidden in fears of being embarrassed – especially if it has something to do with our sexual well-being.  I never understood why people felt embarrassed about sex, a reality that none of us can escape.

Anyways, my partner and I are going through a rough patch in our relationship, and I hope that sharing my personal experience can also help those that may not know they actually have a medical disorder – Delayed Ejaculation.

My partner is amazing.  We are very much in love and for the last five years, have enjoyed a lively sex life.  A few months ago I started to notice that my partner had trouble reaching an orgasm.  He would stay hard for a very long time, even as much as an hour, but never ejaculated.  It hurt me when we realized that he could only achieve an orgasm through masturbation.

At first, I thought it was because he  had an insatiable appetite for sex.  Then I took it personally.  Was it something I did wrong?  Was I not sexy enough? Did my boyfriend not find me attractive anymore? Is he seeing someone else?

But upon reading up on some medical research journals, I found out that my partner may be suffering from Delayed Ejaculation (D.E.), which affects less than five per cent of men and is the third most common male sexual disorder, after erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.

We went to see a doctor, and he said that the decreased sensitivity in my partner’s genital skin may be due to a skin condition called lichen sclerosus or even a psychological barrier – fear of causing pregnancy, fear that the vagina is dirty, and due to a strict religious upbringing.

We have been seeing a counselor as a couple for the last 6 weeks, and have seen some improvement.  Regardless, I am going to stand beside my man, and get through this together as a stronger couple.

What is Delayed Ejaculation? continued…

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  1. Avatar James Mrisho January 29th, 2013 at 1:17 pm

    to me, it seems like your vajeyjey is scaring him! or the simplest thing to do is have him circumcised bcoz it cant be the glans that have lost sensitivity while there’s a foreskin and a condom on top of it!! just my 2 cents..

    1. Avatar Opuk Pek January 30th, 2013 at 11:37 pm

      Weee!! Wacha fitina. Veyjey scaring him until he can’t cool his prick? How? There is a genuine problem here that requires a medical solution and that is what they should get. Or does a veyjey eat men?

  2. Avatar Eye Scream January 29th, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    Your Vajay is simply not tight a.k.a. no grip. I have the similar issue with a girl before. But was quickly compatible with other… Like Instantly. If he has to Masturbate, and he has no problem getting it up quick, then its not psychological. So, try tightening it up…

  3. Avatar Lenny January 29th, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    What will somebody who has premature ejaculation say?She shud be glad

  4. Avatar Patriot January 29th, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    The Vjay is not tight enough for the dude, go for Kegels and stop blaming the poor man.

    1. Avatar Loisoiflame January 31st, 2013 at 1:30 am

      I wonder why some people alive can be this mean and reckless. it is not normal . you never know if it is you tomorrow. This is not a choice . my mum told me as long as you live never laugh at another man’s tragedy

      1. Avatar Patriot January 31st, 2013 at 6:49 pm

        The writer (Lady) is quick to surmise that the problem lies with the dude. To be polite, I have been in a situation like that n it happens when the vjay is lax, happens soon after (normal) childbirth. So however much there will be a scientific theory about delayed ejaculation, the first culprit should be the lady. And I aint laughing at the poor dude, he just should try a different kettle of fish.


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