So often in Kenya do we keep things hidden in fears of being embarrassed – especially if it has something to do with our sexual well-being. I never understood why people felt embarrassed about sex, a reality that none of us can escape.
Anyways, my partner and I are going through a rough patch in our relationship, and I hope that sharing my personal experience can also help those that may not know they actually have a medical disorder – Delayed Ejaculation.
My partner is amazing. We are very much in love and for the last five years, have enjoyed a lively sex life. A few months ago I started to notice that my partner had trouble reaching an orgasm. He would stay hard for a very long time, even as much as an hour, but never ejaculated. It hurt me when we realized that he could only achieve an orgasm through masturbation.
At first, I thought it was because he had an insatiable appetite for sex. Then I took it personally. Was it something I did wrong? Was I not sexy enough? Did my boyfriend not find me attractive anymore? Is he seeing someone else?
But upon reading up on some medical research journals, I found out that my partner may be suffering from Delayed Ejaculation (D.E.), which affects less than five per cent of men and is the third most common male sexual disorder, after erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.
We went to see a doctor, and he said that the decreased sensitivity in my partner’s genital skin may be due to a skin condition called lichen sclerosus or even a psychological barrier – fear of causing pregnancy, fear that the vagina is dirty, and due to a strict religious upbringing.
We have been seeing a counselor as a couple for the last 6 weeks, and have seen some improvement. Regardless, I am going to stand beside my man, and get through this together as a stronger couple.
What is Delayed Ejaculation? continued…