3 Dangers of text-based relationships

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You smile to yourself, and before you know it, your face flushes red.  Your colleagues or friends around you wonder what the inside joke is, but you ignore the questions and continue to stare at your phone.  You just sent a great text and you’re proud of it.

Are you finding yourself texting, chatting, or Whatsapp-ing your newest love interest?  It’s delightful isn’t it?  The back-and-forth, the rings and the vibrating from your phone letting you know he or she has just messaged you, the challenge of crafting witty responses, and your smile from ear-to-ear is undeniable after receiving a blushing emoticon.

While it’s fun, and even sometimes downright sexy, there are pitfalls to dating based on texts, especially early on in a relationship. Your friends argue that texting cannot be intimate and only works in fantasy land – you’re wasting your time.  But, on the contrary, texting can sometimes be more intimate.  Besides, what’s wrong with a fantasy if you know that’s exactly what it is?

There’s nothing wrong with text-based relationships, but there are certainly some more pitfalls than other forms of communication.  It’s already hard enough to get the story right face-to-face, can that change in the digital and mobile space?  To be on the safe side texting should be used as a supplemental form of communication, after face-to-face contact, speaking over the phone, and emails.

So let your fingers do the talking if you must, but beware of the dangers and proceed with caution.


Here are 3 common dangers of relationships based on text:

Dramatic Ups and Downs

So you’ve sent your reply.  Your heart pumps with anticipation.  What will they say? Hope he thought that was funny. Hope she doesn’t think I’m an idiot. You can hardly concentrate.  The suspense is killing you.  Sometimes his/her reply comes sooner than later, and sometimes it just never comes.  Apparently, they were too busy to reply right away or perhaps bad mobile reception got the best of their message. When their message finally comes through to your phone, you’re relieved that they still care enough to respond to your text, ecstatic that they responded in a positive way, and giddy from the blood rushing to your head.

Anticipating for a response, leads to dramatic ups and downs, which then may be misleading.  The highs and lows that you feel may seem like an emotional whirlwind that makes it look like a real relationship.  It feels tangible and as if you’re experiencing the hurdles of a relationship based on the emotions you feel, that in this case, may not be because of your new love interest but more likely because of your anticipation to a message.  Experiencing emotions adds some legitimacy to your relationship.

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