Sex- Can I go down and still be down?

(By Thitu Kariba) Many people have asked me before whether oral sex is a yes or a no in terms of the Christian bedroom and it’s about time we discussed it. I figure that the best place to start is at the beginning so let’s do that and take it right back to the book of Genesis.  God made man, then woman, and the two became one flesh, one being. This describes the union of marriage and then also describes the consummation of that marriage and that is why marriage is not marriage till there is consummation. The couple is to be one mentally, spiritually and physically. On that note we see that sex is God’s idea and seeing as all good things come from God let us just be clear that sex is a good thing.

There is the right way and the wrong way to go about having sex, for one sex outside marriage is a no no. As much as many people think this is so backdated and holy, it is neither fashionable nor  trendy as it is something put in place to protect us. Sex out of marriage is like driving without a license. Take a minute and think about how much more hectic things would be if you got into an accident without a license… regardless of how it happened the one without a driving license is in the wrong. Whereas getting pregnant without having planned for it in a marriage would be welcome (usually) out of marriage, it is hardly met with celebration at first. So on that note… no ringy… dingy!

Now that you are married you may go ahead and have all the sex you like. Part of sex is the language used, the touch, the foreplay and yes even the oral sex. Many times the way I go about a thing is that if it is not clarified in the bible but is medically alright, then it’s doable. Oral sex is not medically harmful to your health, in fact in many cases women are unable to reach an orgasm any other way, and sometimes it really helps to relax her. Some men like it while others do not and usually it is because it is not done right. In a marriage, one of the things you have to come to learn is how to please or satisfy your partner sexually and if you are down for going down then get learning.

Biblically, we are NOT to have sex with animals, people of the same sex, children, and anyone who is not your spouse.  Medically speaking, anal sex is not recommended as that part of the body is not created to expand and contract as a woman is. This means that later on, one could develop hemorrhoids that are painful and at times need to be surgically controlled and also leakage that could have one wearing diapers.

Toys are not something I would recommend either, as I said learn to please each other, many toys are designed to do what man cannot and as such many women then find that their men are not able to do to them what a toy can, this could cause trouble in paradise.  This also goes for masturbation. Sex is a two way street and it should be for the man and woman to enjoy together. So let it be.

A few pointers on oral sex

  • Its always good to keep clean, take a shower before if you can.
  • Wives, this is a very sensitive area so please do not bite.
  • Husbands, when in doubt ask and when you cannot I have heard working your way through the alphabet is bound to get you there.
  • Husbands, a woman’s secret garden is just as sensitive as your own so be gentle
  • Do not be afraid to give instructions
  • Play with temperature, ice and warm water when attending to your husband.

As an end note, not everyone is ok with oral sex and that is alright. Find out why your spouse feels that way if it is an issue and be patient. There are other great ways of spicing up your marital bed without going down, so no you do not have to go down to be down and Yes you can still go down and be down with the man upstairs.





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  1. Avatar Carolynar October 23rd, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Is that all? LOL b.o.r.i.n.g

  2. Avatar Brianna October 23rd, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    Niiiice. I’m not married. Neither am I dating nor seeing anyone. For the first time in a long time I’m trying celibacy. It has been (don’t hold your breath) 5 and 1/2 months. Everyone who says “abstaining is overated” has never tried abstaining. Just like everyone who says “The Rich Also Cry” isn’t rich. So I want to try it for myself. And even when I meet someone, I will continue abstaining until the right time. Your accident without a DL metaphor is spot on!!! I know this is an article about Oral Sex but this is what stood out for me. I love it!!

  3. Avatar NyarAsembo October 24th, 2012 at 8:32 am


  4. Avatar Lloyd Muriuki November 5th, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    UMMM…I wish you had broken some ground here. I felt you focused so much on the “NOT”, for example when you say “Oral sex is not medically….” It would be nice to know what it is as opposed to what it is not.
    Also, enough with the lectures on what the Bible says about sex with animals, children etc..most readers are not interested in that, we just want to know about oral sex – yet you only talked about it in the last few sentences.
    Now, since you have dared to go the sex way, it is not fair to then go back to hiding behind being Conservative. Conservative sex is boring sex, boring sex means boring marriages, boring marriages mean mean angry people…but when you say things like “wives THIS is a very sensitive area….” I feel like slapping my computer out of sheer boredom..

    All in all, I think you should avoid talking about sex if this is all you can do.

  5. Avatar Aaron Smith November 7th, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Nice saying” Sex out of marriage is like driving without a license”

  6. Avatar A Nonymous November 7th, 2012 at 11:35 am

    your article is unrealistic…any married men will tell you this…if it was not the case prostitution would not be one of the most thriving businesses globally…you are not even married yourself…

  7. Avatar A-Bomb! November 14th, 2012 at 7:57 am

    Haha you f***king dolt. You compare the conception of a child to a car accident… Religious or not your article is null and void and I urge you to stop writing

  8. Avatar Donny Abraham November 14th, 2012 at 8:21 am

    just whacked it all over the place

  9. Avatar Frank November 14th, 2012 at 10:53 am

    If somebody did the alphabet on my vagina, I would cry. Anybody doing the alphabet on ladybits needs to google “How to Eat Pussy” or anything of that nature. The alphabet? Really?

    1. Avatar Frank November 14th, 2012 at 10:54 am

      Whoops this is Frank’s wife on his account – hah!

  10. Avatar Logical_Thinker November 15th, 2012 at 1:25 am

    I’m pretty sure a driver’s license is issued when it’s been proven you know the laws regarding how to operate a vehicle, and can competently do so. How is marriage an appropriate analogy to this? I’m pretty sure passing a sex education course is a better analogy.

  11. Avatar Kenyanna November 17th, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    I am laughing out loud. Like someone said, you just whacked it all over the place (toys, anal, masturbation, all in an article about oral sex)…would recommend you did actual practical research on oral sex before writing such kind of an article. And it’s ok, you can say vagina and clit instead of secret garden. We won’t be offended…..

  12. Avatar [email protected] June 25th, 2013 at 5:10 pm

    is masturbation and oral sex right? according to your knowledge and the bible?


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