(THITU KARIBA) Relationships are a wonderful thing, we were created in the image and likeness of God and He is relational. He created man to have a relationship with Him and He created woman to have a relationship with man as the Good Book says, it is not good for man to be alone. Most times though, we are alone. One would wonder though, if God Himself said it is not good for man to be alone, why were we born alone? Why didn’t He pair us up as kids? I believe that God wanted us to find our identity in him and live out our purpose in singlehood before we got hitched. I also believe that as much as He has created a mate suitable for each of us, He has no intention of forcing that on us and we have free will to choose.
It is great to have the freedom of choice especially in relationships. We are allowed to choose whom to be with and eventually whom to marry. As I look at many relationships and my very own, I have come to learn that a relationship and a marriage requires the choice and effort of two, it is not a solo mission. It is easy in a relationship to find yourself pulling all the weight. In most cases this issue could simply be sorted out through communication and understanding. Your mate may not understand how to respond, or what their role is, they also may not be ready for that next level in a relationship and need time.All the same it takes the power of two for it to work.
It is common in relationships when things are going wrong or coming to an end to find a lot of blame going around. However, the reality of the situation is that no one is perfect and both parties have blame to carry. People are not like vending machines; you cannot press a button and expect to get what you want. People are also not the same, what may or may not have worked in the past with another may not apply with the current. It requires you getting to know each other and understanding one another for it to work out. It takes the power of two.
I have also come to understand that changing your mate does not mean your relationships will change, if you are not patient, if you are the kind who cannot commit, if you have baggage, if you have any issue all you are doing is carrying that into the next relationship and when it does not work, you will find someone saying that they always find women or guys like this or that or that this or that always happens to them. In that case it is clear that it is not the other person but they that have the issue and they carry it into every new relationship.
One of the most unfortunate things in relationships today is that people seem to have no patience for them; one expects to find someone, give it six months to a year, get married and live happily ever after. I can assure you now that it does not work like that. Today people are too quick to give up when things and start again whenever things get hard only to have the same thing happen and wonder why they are not married or why things do not work out. A relationship takes commitment, for better and worse should begin here; many times your relationship with people is a reflection of your relationship with God. Many times people relate to God only now and then and expect things to go their way not realizing that it takes time and it takes compromise.
I have seen men and women commit to their jobs, cars, and pets more than they do their mates. Unlike your job, it does not come with a job description, it is not 8-5, it is not all for a paycheck nor is it black and white, unlike your car you cannot always be in control, unlike your pet, and you cannot train the other person. You have to put time and work into it. Nothing good comes easy and if it does, it’s probably stolen from someone who worked hard for it and won’t last long.