The dilemma: I’m 36. Married for a year and happy. I recently met a charming young woman, late 20s during a volunteer event. She was different: vibrant, funny, outgoing, fearless and yes, I was attracted to her. In the hour that we were together, we spoke about everything…conversation flowed. We started connecting on Twitter. Playfully I flirted with her over digital space, but never, ever, did I take it further. I haven’t asked for her number. I haven’t met her again. I haven’t been unfaithful to my wife, but why do I feel so ashamed and guilty? Will telling my wife about this fleeting meeting with this woman make me feel better, or will that bring drama that I’m not ready for?
Mr. 36, why are you suffering from self-guilt? It’s clear that you weren’t physically unfaithful to your wife, and even emotionally I have my doubts. What is the core issue here? You write about this “new” woman that you met in such detail like how she’s vibrant, funny etc., yet you have failed to write even one attribute about your wife. Is your wife nothing like those attributes or do you feel guilty because you wish your spouse shared some of those qualities? You say you’re married and happy, are you really “happy?”
Married people check-out and are attracted to other people all the time. If you’re reading this and saying that that’s not true – you’re in denial. You will meet and interact with countless people in your lives. Saying that you will never be attracted or gravitate-to someone else other than your spouse is really pushing it. It’s human nature to enjoy each other’s company, spouse or no spouse.
I applaud your strength for limiting your communication with this lady and that you have not taken this any further with your “new” friend. However, Twitter is still a form of communication, as is texting or phoning or physically meeting with one another. Don’t think social media is the better route. If you’re not careful, communicating with her over Twitter can still get you in trouble. Does she know you’re married? If she doesn’t, you owe her that piece of vital information. If she knew that you were, perhaps your communication would have ended already.
Capital Lifestyle asks: What do think Mr. 36 still feels so ashamed and guilty?