Help! I’m in love with a married man


A dear Capital Lifestyle Magazine reader is in a fix and has shared her story. She seeks your advice. Remember, the views expressed are solely the opinion of the reader, and not Capital FM’s.


I just realized that I’m the biggest “water preacher” and the biggest “wine drinker” too. I used to frown upon any woman who had a love affair with a married man and now I am that woman! Yes, feel free to throw stones my way.

I met this amazing guy through mutual friends at some random getaway once upon a fabulous weekend. And when we got talking it was like we had known each other all our lives. We had so much in common and everything flowed great-the conversation, the jokes, the love for strange habits like having pancakes for dinner-but that was until I saw the bling on his finger. “Bummer!!! “ I remember thinking to myself, why are the good ones always taken?” In my head I was like I will try to forget that I saw that ring especially on that particular finger but the fact remains that it was there, and is still there whether I choose to see it or not!

What I love about this man (yes I said love) is the fact that he doesn’t try to make excuses about him being married or that he married the wrong woman and not once has he ever mentioned his wife or kids in a conversation. Which is what actually drives me towards him some more.


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  • realtalk

    You don’t have to always get what you want. Especially if what you want belongs to someone else. You can put an end to the issue since you already know he has a family. Ask yourself what you really know about a married man who has not yet mentioned his family to you. He’s hoping you slip up and he can include you in his list of women he’s screwed; but I doubt you’d mind that.

  • supermayne

    what sign do you need?the ring wasn’t enough ama? Do not ruin his family and you need to dump your boyfriend, and finally, you need to find yourself a man

  • Njeri

    sweerie, I kinda sorta feel you! There are a lot of women who are in your situation, just are just brave enough to come out with it. That said, what you’re doing is wrong. Period. Please find a way out before it’s too late and you end up with untold hurt. I’ll share with you my personal rule-for future cases- Once you spot the ring, or he mentions a wife or a girlfriend, run! Don’t accept a coffee, drink, dinner or whatever invite just run. That way you don’t have a chance to know how awesome he is!

  • LOL This is funny.
    You are just his toy , it doesn’t matter if you two are having fun…and its good that you haven’t done the nasty yet, btw if you do he will Leave you and go to the next one! LOL !!

    And by the way It’s highly unlikely that he’ll leave his wife for you and he if he does you’ll always be the other woman, even if you marry him.!

  • mickey

    well dear i wont be the one to criticize you…..the thing is …i miss the old days when our grandfathers used to have load of wives n life went on……life is too short n sometimes one has to do what she has to do to be happy……well what you waiting for…not all men are dogs as most women will claim n and yet you still love them.

  • Wats

    Its not that all friendships have to end up in marriage, if it gives you piece of mind as you serach for Mr. Right, why not? just tell him its all about spending free time and thats it, once the free time is over, u move, why should anyone be lonely when she can be happy, and that man is just distributing happiness.

  • gee

    am also in such a situation and i have tried getting out of it but its damn hard. am really in love with him thou he told me he is married and have even met his son.

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