Friends are important in your life and if you don’t have friends then you are not normal. This can be proven “scientifically” when it comes to Society studies and human behavior where it is verified that friends in general play a huge role in ones socialization process.

Hmm…so what got me thinking about this topic?

One very late Sunday evening (I’m talking 11pm-ish) I was chilling somewhere in town with my cousin waiting for a mutual friend of ours to come and relieve me of my “keeping-the cousin-company duty.”
My cousin had plenty of time to spare since he was on vacation and I had to go home, finish up on some work then sleep and wake up bright and early ready for work the next day which was crazy Monday.
He needed company but I was too tired, so he promised to release me once he got someone to replace me and I suggested a mutual friend of ours who we called and confirmed he’d show up.
It was late for a Sunday but I knew our friend would come. He is a responsible guy and someone whose words you can always count on.
He did take forever, and I mean forever (considering I was so sleepy and had to drive home and finish up on some important work) but he came through all the same. Turns out he had so much to do (like save the world or something)

And that is what got me thinking about friendships, promises and the kind of friend I am.

When it comes to friends, there is…

-That friend who is genuinely your friend and will be there for you through thick and thin. That friend who will always care about your well-being. That one who will be your friend when you are jobless and will be extremely happy for you when you get that super job that even sees them earn more than you do. The one that won’t be bothered by negativity and only concentrates on things that will do more good than harm and those that will build you both. And this type of  friend ladies and gentlemen, is a true friend and sadly a very rare creature.

Then there is…

-That friend who will only be there when things are going all rosy. When there’s something in it for him/her. And when things get thick for you they will be there to make sure that you are actually going down and give you fake sympathy as they laugh out loud behind your back. This friend will show up just because they didn’t have other plans and is likely to disappoint you when you need them the most. You are at the bottom of their priority list. They may even sabotage you so that you go down and they are left feeling good about themselves.

…and finally…

-That friend who is never there for you. The type that will even swear that they will come for your event and even be the first ones to RSVP and then don’t show up. They even tell you they are on the way coming but never show up. They don’t call to explain why they couldn’t make it, or why the sudden change of plans and will even switch off their phone and give you some lame story the next day. They are never there for you period! but when they need you they will look for you everywhere possible. This lot just don’t care for you and wouldn’t be bothered with you and yours.

I recently found out that one of my very good friends is epileptic. I have known her for quite some time and during that whole time I never even suspected that she suffered from epilepsy. She explained that there’s a lot of stigma that epilepsy sufferers are faced with.  That she is always afraid of people’s reactions when they find out. I was mad at her for a minute for not telling me but then I tried to put myself in her shoes and I couldn’t help but appreciate her some more. She is not epilepsy, she is my friend, and I forced myself to understand where she is coming from. With friends disappearing one by one whenever she suffers an attack in their presence. And I know its not easy, especially knowing that she didn’t bring it on herself. She says that what she has gone through all her life, the stigma she has faced because of being epileptic…she wouldn’t wish on even her worst of enemies.

While calling someone a friend, do you take the time to try and put yourself in their shoes and look at them as they do you? Would you drop everything you are doing to go and help a friend in need? Would you like the same done for you? Do you even have someone you can call on when you need a shoulder to cry on? Think about it! And think hard before you call someone your friend.

Just remember that besides family, friends really matter and they do play a huge role in our lives so choose the right ones…. So what kind of friend are you?