My husband is in love with another!

My best friend *Nina and I have been best friends for a very long time. We are so much alike we are almost like sisters. We are both married. Myself for 10 years now, and *Nina for 7 years.
Our tastes are so similar even when it comes to men. The only difference is that I am louder and bubblier and she is the calm, reserved one. We shared the same hostel in campus and at 25 after starting our first jobs we moved in together. Life was good and we were both single so we were each others everything and did everything together. We were as thick as thieves and it was so much fun being in each others’ life.

One day this very hot guy moved into our building and since I saw him first and looooved what I saw, I called dibs on him. At 25 you are excited that life is just beginning for you. You have your job, you are ok with your first “little” pay and as a young woman you are even ready to meet the right guy and settle down with him as soon as possible when your stars are still shining so bright.

…Back to the new hot guy on the block… When *Nina came home that evening the hot new guy had moved in, we set camp by the window so that she could see what I had seen earlier and when she did she was thoroughly impressed! But since I had called dibs on ‘His Hotness the neighbor’, she had to respect that.
When I heard he was single, there’s nothing I didn’t do to get his attention! From dressing up just to drop off a plate of something I had spent forever trying to make to perfection, to inviting him over for dinner at the house, to inviting him to watch movies with us, to taking bottles and cans for him to open because I was “unable” to do so myself…. Any excuse to see him and get close to him was utilized to the fullest.

Mr. Hot neighbor took his time before he made any moves on me and the weird part is that when we met up -and that is after me insisting on it- he kept asking questions about *Nina my roomie. That didn’t go very well with me. After all that I had done, he was showing interest in somebody else? I had to take the bull by the horns…so I lied and mentioned in “passing” one time that *Nina was in a very serious relationship with somebody else. After that things became a little relaxed and his interest in me became intense 🙂 . He would ask about *Nina to find out how she was doing every once in a while because she is my roomie but nothing deep to show he was still  interested in her.

Two years later, hot neighbor and I tied the knot in a beautiful ceremony with *Nina as my maid of honor and  that day she made friends with one of the groomsmen which later turned into something serious and fast forward…they are married now. Of course when *Nina hooked up with the groomsman I had to come clean to my new hubby about her being single ever since and he was not amused at all!
PS: I have never told *Nina that my hubby had ever shown interest in her.

Now time has passed and we have grown and become mums and dads but the sinister thing is that my hubby’s love for *Nina has also grown. He is always asking to invite her everywhere and include her in everything we do… I bet so that he can see her. When she visits I can see the way he looks at her and listens to her very keenly like he’s wishing things were different. I have even heard him tell his friend that he’s a lucky man to have *Nina as his wife and how he’s a little jealous.

This got me thinking, sometimes the heart wants what it wants and it won’t settle until it gets what it wants! I know I did wrong to lie to my hubby all those years ago plus calling dibs on a man who was in love with another…but my heart wanted what it wanted and I was just looking out for myself. I know if anything ever happened to me and Nina’s husband the two of them (my hubby and Nina) would totally get together! Does it seem right to be in a marriage with somebody who clearly loves another? I want to assume that they don’t get together behind our backs…What should I do?

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  1. Avatar Yule_Mlo1est June 20th, 2012 at 11:52 am

    lol…dibs made me remember how i met your mother esp barney, Sorry my dia shit happens samtyms, both of you nid to grow up and move on with your lives…

  2. Avatar ras June 20th, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    let your hubby take your friend as his mpango wa kando as you lied to him

  3. Avatar Jupiters Cock June 20th, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    You can take this to *Nina’s maternity ward…. He has already tapped that.

  4. Avatar vivian kamau June 20th, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    just because you got what you wanted doesnt mean he also got what he wanted a price you have to live with unfortunately i think you should have just kept the fact that you lied hidden

  5. Avatar Vince June 20th, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    well this one a tight one..but if at all you value relationships and value what lies deep in people’s hearts,just as you did with yours, i believe you will know what to do plus if you put your selfishness aside.

  6. Avatar Carolynar June 20th, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    you made a mistake telling your hubby the truth !!

  7. Avatar onetwo June 20th, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    the end justifies the means, sio? Well I say what goes round comes around. This is what you get out of selfisheness and being insecure. You were so selfish wanted the jamaa for yourselef to the point of lying to your roomie as well as the jamaa himselef and now he knows you hid the info from him. Maybe if you were a little selfless and both competed the jamaa would have made his choice between teh two of you lakini sasa thats water under the bridge.

    You just garra resign yourself to the fact that its a matter of time before the inevitable happens. Maybe you should just have a candid talk all 3 of you, then ask forgiveness from the two for having lied to them and let it all pass. You have your hubby she has her hubby and life goes on

  8. Avatar mwane June 20th, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    thats gonna be ya habby”s side kick,enjoy the ride.

  9. Avatar Silver June 25th, 2012 at 2:28 am

    On the real, this is a ticking time bomb. Were you selfish? yes; you made a mistake? yes! However that was some 10 years ago. It’s apparent that if you knew then what you know now, you’d have done things somewhat differently. The thing with guys is that they’re drawn, like a moth to a flame, even more so to that which is forbidden (a decade is a loong time to be pining after someone). Don’t fool yourself either – you’re friend is not oblivious to your husband’s admiration/lust of her. The thing with today’s society is that we’re so caught up in saving face, wondering what people will say.. the matter needs to be addressed. Forget other people – everyone has baggage! You need to put on your big girl pants and just deal. You’re older, more mature, wiser so you can find the strength within yourself to do the right thing for your marriage (councelling/prayer/both!) communication is so not over rated. Ignoring it will just make it fester. After all is said and done, your conscience needs to clear that you’ve done all you could to make right the situation.. and who knows, if he’s not your soul mate then why put yourself through the agony? For how long?! And your child?! Kids these days are terrifyingly perceptive; they see it all. Perhaps even more than you do. You’re still young and if your marriage, after everything, does not survive this at least ensure you have your dignity intact; it need not get ugly. There are plent of fish in the sea – cliché but true.

  10. Avatar kiqie July 19th, 2012 at 11:15 am

    i feel it 4 u but then it may not happen now but it may come to happen later….


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