My gay best friend wants my man!

A Capital Lifestyle Magazine reader shares their story on how her bestfriend actually secretly wants her man.  Remember, the the views expressed are solely the opinion of the reader, and not Capital’s.

Let the conversation begin:


Mickey and I have been colleagues for the last five years, and over time, we have become the closest friends.  He’s lent his shoulder for me when I’ve cried over breakups with my boyfriends, I bake him cupcakes when I know he’s upset over something, we go shopping together, and we make regular appearances to the hottest parties in Nairobi together.  If it weren’t for the obvious fact that Mickey is gay, most people would assume we were a happy couple.

I love Mickey, but recently, since I have shared with him that I’m dating this new guy, he’s been a bit…b*tchy.

At first, I thought he was simply being over-protective.  But, as the weeks past, the small things that I use to brush off have snowballed into obvious signs of competition.  I think Mickey is totally into my new guy, and even, secretly hoping he’s gay.

Questionable Events

Makes me feel bad

Mickey often pulls me aside, and tells me really hurtful things, “Christopher is not the one for you.  He’s playing you and he just wants to hook up with you.  You’re not special.”  When asked about why he thinks that, like does he know something that I should know, Mickey always falls short of answering the important questions.  Other days, he puts me down and comments on how “fat” and “ugly” I look.  Mickey is putting me down.

Flirting with my guy

When we all hang out together, boyfriend, myself and Mickey, I always feel like I’m the third wheel.  Mickey always leads.  He orders my boyfriend’s drink without asking, asks if he’s cold, holds his jacket when he goes to the loo, and leans in during conversations so much that sometimes, even my boyfriend feels awkward.

Undercover operation

In an effort to understand if Mickey really does want my boyfriend, I set up a sting operation.  One day at the office, I rushed to his desk, distraught and upset, and told him that Christopher just told me something over the phone and I was really sad.  The first thing that Mickey said to me was, “Did he tell you he was actually gay?!”  Nope, he didn’t ask me if I was ok or anything…

There are many more instances when I’ve questioned Mickey’s loyalty, but regardless, I need your help!  I really like Mickey as a friend, but what can I do?  Perhaps, I should just reserve sharing personal feelings with him, and keep him close since he’s ultimately an enemy?  But, I guess I can’t hate Mickey as well.  He’s just behaving like any other woman who’s interested in my boyfriend.


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  1. Avatar Emma C Cheppy June 15th, 2012 at 11:33 am

    LOL! Word!! I know the feeling… in the end its just the same kind of competition as would be with a gal pal who wants your man…and if it gets to that point – where boundaries are no longer respected – then you need to have a LONG har heart-to-heart with your friend, gay or not! If anotherperson(in this case ur bf) can come into the picture and your pal’s loyalty is shifted, then you may have no business being friends after all.
    On another note, what if your bf really IS gay? Is it possible that micheky may actually know something you don’t? Do you really want to be with a man who is on the down-low??? Before cutting off your friendship, you may want to investigate that possibility further….’coz that IS a possibility! 😉

  2. Avatar Sarah June 15th, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    my dear anyone who is interested in your boyfriend be it a woman or a man he is the ENEMY. are you sure you boyfriend is straight. i wish you well.


  3. Avatar onetwo June 15th, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    hehehe does your boyfie know your bff is gay?

  4. Avatar Tyra J. June 15th, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    Hmmm… this seems a bit odd to me. I’m a “Hag” with tons of gay best friends and they have never come onto my boyfriend/soon-to-be-husband because he is straight. It appears to me that your boyfriend could be gay! Everyone knows that gay men don’t come after someone unless they are sure that the feelings could be reciprocated. Check your man boo!

  5. Avatar Carolynar June 18th, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    LOL your bf is gay ! aha!


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