Rules have changed: No more free meals Ladies


A Capital Lifestyle Magazine reader shares their views on the age-old gender role debate when it comes to men paying for dinner/lunch/coffee, and why the rules should change. Remember, the the views expressed are solely the opinion of the reader, and not Capital’s.

Let the conversation begin:


I may sound straight forward, but I’ve been reading some of the emails that your readers have written and that you’ve posted, and all of them have only complained and not offer any solutions to any of their issues.

I am a thirty-something professional who believes in being focused and goal-oriented. Not only with work, but also in “relationships.”

I know what I am about to say will probably anger quite a few of you, but what I say is based on my personal experiences.

I am a dater, and in my realm of dating, I believe that dating also includes sexual intimacy.  And, can be expected after the woman has accepted my advances.

It use to be that if I was interested in a woman, it was expected of me to take her out for dinner at least for a few times before she would let me get near her. Nowadays, most women who are on the dating scene are users and “gold diggers,” but even that term has been overused, probably because it happens so often! Now the women will agree to your invitation, go for dinner, refuse to eat real food and would rather snack on a salad, have terrible conversations, be as frigid as an iceberg and still expect you to pay for the meal – and then expect you to do it all over again, and again, and again.

Who made up dating etiquette in the first place? Who said that what defines a gentlemen depends on if he opens doors for the woman or pay for her meal? They want to be treated equally don’t they?  Then open MY door, and pay for MY meal.  Even a gentleman will expect something in return, like her cookie.

So, I write to you, in hopes of my suggestion for new dating etiquette will reach all the gentlemen out there: it’s time for these unspoken rules to be changed. Men, don’t treat her to something special or pay for dinner until you get your cookie, at least three times!

Now that’s a dating rule worthy of practicing.  What say you, women?





  • I don’t agree with this. contrary to what you believe, this is what is called the ‘chase’ and unless you are ready to do it, ain’t no way you going to find yourself a woman. what you want is a shortcut so  you can keep complaining till the sun sets in the east.

  • Kindly report back to me on how many cookies you will manage to get by the next Century. Thanks!

  • Allan6768

    words of wisdom. its about time. As kids we were taught that theres nothing free in this world seems like one gender forgot that.

  • spatan

    ha ha ha theoritically it will work but on the ground…..:) aint going to happen…you want to get the cookie before taking her for dinner?? what kind of a theory is that? trust me even in the “whoochie” world it doesnt work like that….

  • Boniface Jibendi

    As a matter of fact, she should bring her cookies to my house, i make her dinner and taste her cookies to determine whether they are worth a meal at a restaurant……

  • danny munyi

    i totally agree!men chivalry should be there, but by your rules!chase, ensure you eat/enjoy your cookie or what you want to call it 3times and if you can 3 times a day like a meal and then she’s worth your treat her to a fancy restaurant and very well.

  • Sarahwangun

    ha ha ha h ha that is a man with confidence issues and trying to massage his inflated ego by making women worship the ground he walks on, take charge of your insecurities dude, no woman will do that for yu.

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