I recently shed some light on COMMITMENT PHOBIA but I may have forgotten to mention that most commitment phobic people don’t even know that they are sufferers and sadly if this is the case then there’s no helping them snap out of it and as a result of this they will never realize that they hurt people unforgivably.
It is important to let someone know that they are commitment phobic because these are people who can actually make you go crazy because of their behavior. What with the making you second guess yourself and often sending you on guilt trips and other trips where you try figuring out whatever it is that you did wrong this time around?
The only way to live a normal and happy life, albeit with a bit of normal stress as God intended us to live is by handling our phobias. Therefore, a commitment phobe has to realize that they are suffering from commitment phobia in the first place in order to help them change their ways. After all, it is true that when you deal with a phobia or any problem for that matter you feel like a heavy burden has been lifted off your shoulders and you can then live and breathe easy. In which case you even get to realize your full potential and live a full quality life because when you heal, you have room to grow and change.
For a commitment phobe to change, he/she has to:
#want to kick the phobia to the curb and be prepared to do the kicking
#Take responsibility for his/her behavior towards the people he/she has put through hell and back because of the phobia
#Figure out where the cause of the phobia stemmed from
#Be prepared to go through therapy in order to help them change their views on relationships as well as their negative and irrational thoughts about commitments and about life in general.
#Do without being in a relationship for a while until they have kicked the phobia
#Allow self to be honest and upfront with people they get involved with at the very beginning of meeting.
Tips on how to cope with a commitment phobe so as to maintain sanity (Before, During and After)
B: Remember that in order for anything to change, effort has to be applied. It is always up to you to protect yourself from heartbreak so self control has to be practiced. If you have your best interest at heart then you will spot this commitment phobe pretty early and you shall save yourself tears and keep yourself sane. The writing is always on the wall.
D:The best medicine to deal with such is to know that love and attention do absolutely nothing for these people but showing that you don’t need them is just the trick. Remember that they are selfish and only look out for themselves so look out for yourself as well.
D:Never make excuses for their behavior…or for anyone’s behavior for that matter.
A: Dealing with a commitment phobe might make you one as well because of the experiences they may have put you through. So…once you are strong enough to leave and move on, it would help to speak to a professional who will help you in more ways than you could imagine.
A: Never regret dating that commitment phobe, instead learn from your experience and you know what? when you look at it you will have acquired the virtue of patience and you will know how rejection feels so in turn you will learn to love yourself in a different way and also never to expect anything from anyone but yourself.
D: Try setting the pace in the relationship and don’t let the “phobe” become your bag of air. Make your thoughts and ideas count as well because there’s two of you in the relationship regardless of the phobia!
D: If you can train yourself to treat the commitment phobe as an occasional lover and not as a potential partner (because you will just be wasting your precious time) the better. If you don’t, you will never get to experience emotional security which can eventually drive you insane.
A: If the commitment phobic person is not capable of changing (this is after giving them several chances) RUN and HIDE! and if this is the type of person you keep on attracting change your game and be very keen to learn from your bad experiences. I mean you don’t want to end up like the lady on the left!!!