I wanna be your official girl



It’s been little over a year now and I’m still his unofficial girl. My boyfriend (or whatever he is to me) has refused to commit fully to me. Our relationship status is pending and has been for the past year. Everybody thinks we have a perfect thing going on , all rosy and a bottle of wine… I’m sad to report that it is anything but!

Dude and I met at some house party as I was just on my way out. We almost butted heads at the door. I smiled and muttered something about being sorry and then he inquired where I was going to in such a hurry, tried to convince me to stay for a bit longer but I had had it with that boring party and I wanted to be out of there ASAP! I wasn’t in the mood of meeting anyone either…in fact that was the last thing on my mind so when he told me his name, I just said nice to meet you and dashed off to my car.

Dude practically hunted me down after that brief encounter at the door. Asking random people at the party if they knew a certain chic who just left and was wearing this and that…with his description and no name he couldn’t get anywhere because he was describing a number of girls at the party. He asked all his friends until he finally found me. It took quite a while of calling and flirting over the phone and playing hard to get before I actually agreed to meet him for coffee.

He then did everything possible to ensure that I got his attention. There were dinners and expensive gifts, a thousand calls a day just to check on me, random flower deliveries at my work place and random mini trips… he went the whole nine yards…and then the uncertainty phase checked in and somehow he got the freaks.


He has never called me his girlfriend! He is the only one who decides when to meet up. He doesn’t call no more he only sends me texts via Whatsapp (a free texting application).

I have no idea where we stand because it is not clear that we are dating or that I’m his official girl.

He texts to say things like “I miss you girl”, “I need to see you girl…it’s important that I do” and I find it all ridiculous.We even hang out with his friends and sometimes my friends but never has he called me his girlfriend officially.

It’s like he’s freaking out and sometimes behaves like a child when I tell him I need to see other people because whatever it is that we have is quite hazardous to both our health.

A year it is and it is still  find it weird when I tell my friends that he is not my boyfriend and that what we have is complicated. My friends say things like “he loves you and we can tell by the way he looks at you and by the way he treats you”. I can’t tell them that sometimes he goes quiet on me and I only hear from him once a week or sometimes once in two weeks. That it even feels strange to call him my boyfriend because he’s not!

I try not to call him or text him first because I believe that if you love someone the calling should be frequent and that weird feeling should not be felt and it shouldn’t matter who calls first. We do have fun together but once he leaves I wonder if I dreamt all the fun times.

Men have practically been knocking on my door trying to get me to go out with them. I am flattered and all but at the same time I feel like I might be cheating and I’m not a cheat. I am running out of patience. I feel like this thing that we have only favors him. I need to leave or I need to know if I’m his official girl.

~ Capital Lifestyle Reader~


  • ………..shaking my head!!!:(

    • Mkrystal4

      guess am inthe same shit but kidogo different he says he loves me bt once in a blue moon actually I said it last then he said he loved me too. 

  • one year? are you serious? he cant give you that time back!!!!!

  • you dont need this … run for the hills you deserve better and will find someone who respects you… not this rubbish you have been shown.. this guy has treated you like a doormat .. dont let him make you a dustbin.

  • Agha

    You must be boring… Ladies, men go great depth to please you. In return, you are always there to receive and do nothing. Come-on…excite him, eke your beauty with romance….. stop endless whining and insecurity…onr year! this man loves you 

  • Precious

    Been there >> not for a year though>> lemmi just tell you how this story will end. He is get Another gal and he shall call her Girlfriend in less than 6 weeks!! Worse they shall have a kid or have wedding plans>> Save your self the heart ache gal it gets  worse with time>> RUN AWAY!!

    Go on dates with the new guys. Be scares (for him). He will either want to have you for keeps or will just let you be. 

  • Amwambui

    my dear run and never look back pliz!!!

  • Andre

    Why don’t you ask God about it?? Yes, He listens and he answers prayers.. even petty prayers on boyfriends/ girlfriend issues. Talk to him

  • sly

    He’s using u. If u can find a good man, please do!

  • Stacy

    Keep it moving to the K.I.M. He’s not worth it, and you  are far too more valuable than he can afford.

  • Someonewholearnedthehardway

    Girlfriend, first you need you pick up a copy of  Steve Harvey’s ‘Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man’ .  if you don’t set standards on how and when the man should make things official, then he will continue to treat you the way he wants and get away with it….tell him what you want and if he can’t give it you…well you get to move on and he stops wasting your time. 

  • Ask him to define the relationship and then take your decision.

  • Sunshine

    I think I am in the same kinda r/ship…it becomes draining and you never know when to leave 🙁

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