This week I found myself in unfamiliar territory. You know the type of stimuli you get exposed to for the first time in your life.

I know my friends may be surprised at how well I’m taking it; hell, even I am surprised at me. Had it been in 2009 or 2010 I’d be a series of frayed nerves and on the verge of emotional breakdown. But it’s 2012 and I’m a rock!

So, why am I still cheerful despite having gone through what should be a gut wrenching experience, a horrible breakup? I mean, I just broke up with my best-friend of many many many years, my confidante, and in gay terms – the love of my life! Maybe the experience was so shocking my systems shut down and rebooted on reserve energy where emotions don’t exist. So many maybes. Maybe I’m still in denial (but I know I’m not…at least I don’t think I am). Some part of me still cares, my inner child is probably pining for her, but the rest of me just doesn’t give a hoot!

When Ben loves, he doesn’t do it half way, when Ben cares he doesn’t do it in small doses, when Ben gives he doesn’t do it in portions. He loves with his whole heart; he gives with his whole being. Loving with his whole being is the only thing he can give and the world can’t take that away from whom he gives it to.
He doesn’t just give it to just anyone, hell, he waited his whole life to give it to that special somebody and she blew it.

As the walls build up and get fortified, he realizes it’s gonna be a while before somebody else ever manages to scale them successfully. You see, normal Ben doesn’t just love anybody, he doesn’t just miss anybody. When Ben says he misses you, you better damned believe it he misses you. When he says he loves you, well bring out the band and give the 21 gun salute for you are part of the less than a handful! Ben’s love is not a diamond in the rough, it’s a f**king living planet in the emptiness of the cosmos…i.e hard to find…for the slow ones! Hell, he doesn’t like human beings that much!

Anyway enough of the third person speak, I relate better to my life if I look at it from a 3rd person perspective. But my biggest suspicion over why I’m not emotionally responding appropriately is my medication. Bipolar meds are built to control moods, and moods determine emotions. I’m thinking I stop taking them for a day or two to mourn, but nah. Moving on swiftly…

Cheating is the number one relationship breaker, so I’m led to believe, in the world. In my books cheating is the worst thing you could ever do to your other half (short of murder) and there is no coming back from that. I have written an article on why men cheat, so that base is covered, but why do women cheat?

From experience, women cheat for one or more of the following reasons:
a) she intentionally wants to hurt you
b) she’s emotionally/sexually attracted to somebody else
c) she got drunk
d) financial reasons

I would really love to go through them point by point, but really, there is no f**king excuse to cheat! Just dump somebody! Save them the pain of being cheated on!

Only a stupid woman would cheat to hurt a guy! Do you realize a guy can go loco and kill you and the a** wipe you’re cheating on him with? I mean why not just end it? I’m not the violent type but we see it all the time in the news. If a relationship has reached that plateau point why not end it?  Isn’t that why cave people invented the classic “it’s not you, it’s me” line?
I know it’s the emotions finally breaking through, but if you dumped me because you met somebody better (ha, as if) I’d understand, it was probably not meant to be.
If you cheat on me because you got drunk and one thing led to another, I’d understand, sure I’ll dump your cheap ass immediately but I’d understand. Drunk girls do the most stupid of things, we all know that, we’ve all been on the wrong end of a tequila overdose. But if you do it just to hurt me, what do you gain? The sex probably sucks but that is beside the point. You have sex with somebody you don’t care about, somebody you wouldn’t have given the time of day just to prove a point?

Moving on, women also cheat for financial reasons too. Assume you are a couple and between you the money doesn’t seem enough. In comes this guy, a guy your woman would never give it up to under normal circumstances, but he is rich, he dangles a carrot and promises her a job if she gives it up to him, kuonja tu. And here I’m talking to the girls, y’all are just stupid! You know that? STUPID! With a capital S.T.U.P.I.D! Everyone knows those jobs never work out but you are so stupid as to leave or cheat on somebody you love, somebody with promise and somebody who would give the world just for you, based on some stupid promise!

Jeez for Chris’sake, what the HELL is going through your minds? Sex is just sex where no emotion is involved! And take my word for it, from a guy, it’s the cunt count that matters in such circumstances! All we want is the bragging rights. When a guy loves you, he doesn’t do it because you’re the only one who will give it up to him, he does it because you’re all that matters! So next time you’re walking around feeling sweet like you got a golden hymen, remember, you are not that special!!

I’ll stray a bit. For a young couple with no kids, financial constraints are at most (should be) just a stumbling block. You always have the option of moving in together to save on rent and other expenses. But remember you have a lifetime ahead of you to build on the financial bit. Nothing ever comes easy for most people if you want to live the fast life you have to work towards it, don’t take any shortcuts. Shortcuts only lead to disaster and in many cases jail time.

I have never understood why most people assume that one day you will wake up and everything will be sorted out. The journey to the top takes blood, sweat and tears. But really that is a concept many women will never understand. They are pretty much happy to be the trophy girlfriend or clande, not realizing thousands of girls are hitting 18 everyday, and their nectar is much fresher and innocent and their boobs perkier than your wrinkly ass, so you will get replaced sooner than you think, and what will you do then? Try to rebuild the bridges you burnt?

People, this world we live in, is mean! It will eat you up and spit you if you’re not careful. Be careful the toes you step on, they might be attached to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.
I believe I covered this in the why men cheat article but women, you are responsible for the monsters men become! Men are emotional beings too, very emotional, but destroy that part and you and your gender become just life support  and adding notches to the bedpost. So beware lest your stupidity becomes the undoing of your gender.

There is never an excuse for cheating whether a dude or a chick. Remember, you always have the option of breaking up first if you feel the need to have sex with other people. Don’t create a monster. Don’t destroy another human emotionally…some things can’t be fixed, especially not with an ‘I’m sorry’!

 

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