Here’s the situation: I moved back to Kenya for my big love – the one I’ve been missing for the last 5 years ever since I made the move to the States for college. The first 6 months were amazing, we clicked as if we had never left each others sides and even with sex, we clicked. Now, I don’t know what’s happened…we haven’t had sex at all for months! My boyfriend says he’s busy with work and goes to the gym all the time. He hasn’t been once in the last year. I keep running into inconsistencies in his stories. He comes home from work and just disappears in his laptop. He doesn’t call me anymore when he works late. We don’t even discuss our grocery list. What do you guys think?
Dear Capital Lifestyle Reader:
I wonder why did the first 6 months go so well, and what is the difference between then and now? If you can find out the answers to that loaded question, you may just realize whether it’s worth the work to spark the relationship again, or whether it’s time to move on.
Some readers may be quick to judge and say, “Your boyfriend is probably seeing someone else.”
However, unless you encourage your boyfriend to talk, you’ll never know what’s really going on in his head. You need to encourage your boyfriend to tell you how he sees things – in the present and in the future. Where is your relationship going? Where does he stand?
It’s easy to simply pick apart his many excuses, stories and inconsistencies; but now is not the time to play the blame game. Tell him how you feel, where you stand, and what your needs are. Don’t demand, command with how you deal with the situation.
Undoubtedly, with the years apart, you may have grown apart. Talk it through and try and find new ways to relate with each other. And, if you can’t find it in you to stick around, then leave!
What do you guys think? Leave your suggestions for our reader below!