Is there something like “husband material”?

If you had a boyfriend who never saves up his money at all, drinks to his last coin every month, is constantly broke by week two of every month (in fact there’s always too much month left at the end of his money), “borrows” money from your purse, owes everybody money, makes you take care of some of his bills etc and then he proposes marriage to you would you say yes?

A husband, according to me is that man who wakes up in the morning, finds breakfast on the table, eats it, goes to work, comes back in the evening with a newspaper, sits in his fave couch, gets a hold of the remote (or rather hoards it), pretends to flip through the channels (that is if he didn’t bring some work home), has food brought to him, eats it, flips through the channels some more, dozes off on the couch, gets woken up by his wife to go to bed, sleeps until the next day and the cycle is the same throughout the week except for Fridays when he comes home later than the other days if at all.

A wife, according to me is that woman who wakes up in the morning, prepares breakfast, does a multitude of things before leaving for work, comes back home in the evening, cooks, waits for dear hubby to get home while she does a multitude of tasks, serves hubby with warm food when he finally gets home, does the dishes, makes sure he has clean clothes for the next day and that they are ironed to perfection, goes to bed exhausted and the cycle is the same throughout the week apart from Saturday when she has to clean the house thoroughly and still make time for some self grooming.

So the other day, I had visitors over at my place and as is normal you are supposed to make your guests feel at home. So I kept them entertained and well fed and I noticed that every time I cleared the table someone would blurt out “now that is a wife material right there”. And I wondered to myself, isn’t what I’m doing what everyone does? And I was informed that I’d be shocked at how people are different. I was reminded that there are women who wouldn’t know the first thing about maintaining a household. They wait to be told to do everything.
I would like to think of it as I’m just a good hostess…that’s all! I mean, I always let my dishes pile up into the next day (a habit I should stop). I was convinced though, that there is something like “wife material” and I couldn’t help but wonder if there is something like “husband material?”

Given the picture above on what a husband is like, how would you know if a man would be worth having as a husband? What would show you that he will make a good husband? Is it by how many times he can flip the channels and order you around? “Honey have you seen my green socks?” “Where’s my dinner?” etc

Just because as a man you bring home the bacon everyday (which is not necessarily the case nowadays) doesn’t mean that you should just be a man! Have you seen women who juggle work during the day and school in the evening, a pregnancy and taking care of a husband (read, keeping the homestead in one piece) all at once?
As it is always wise to know your man inside out, it is best to observe him thoroughly especially in the first couple of months into a new relationship. How he treats his mother and women in general. How he treats his other family members. How he treats you. How he pays attention to you and your needs. How he appreciates you and what you do for him. How he appreciates having you in his life. How he involves you in his life and in planning for everything. How he makes small talk with you after work to find out how your day was. How he keenly thinks about both of your futures as one. How he gives you a hand every once in a while by him saying “today I will iron for both of us” or “you rest today I will burn the breakfast.”… Basically having basic human instincts on how to live as one with someone.
That is how you tell a good guy. Not by how he invites his friends over and expects you to feed them and he hadn’t checked with you in the first place or how he totally ignores you during a football game or by how he nurses hangovers every Sunday and is a couch potato all the other times and wouldn’t lift a finger to help out just because he is the husband.

There are girls who think that since their boyfriends keep saying they want to have children with them is the sure way to tell that a guy has good husband qualities. That shouldn’t be the judging criteria at all. In fact there’s a difference between having paternal instincts and being a good husband. And yes, I’m convinced that there is something like “husband material” which is definitely not the guy in my opening paragraph.

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  1. Avatar Anonymous December 2nd, 2011 at 10:45 am

    Of course there is. Some people are meant to be sportsmen, others not. Some are meant to be entrepreneurs, executioners, politicians, etc; others are not. Same applies to marriage. Some in both genders are not meant to be…

  2. Avatar apple December 2nd, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    Marriage is meant for the unselfish….period if you cannot compromise…u cannot hack…achana nayo…

  3. Avatar ✔ Verified Account December 2nd, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    |……  borrows” money from your purse, owes everybody money, makes you take
    care of some of his bills etc and then he proposes marriage to you would
    you say yes?…” <—- if that is all he does then we can be sure even when  he gets a family …. he will be a useless dad and husband!!

    YES, there is something like husband material…..

  4. Avatar Moirurimoh December 2nd, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    Deffinetly we gat good guyz or hubbyz or husbands, wat i do knw is miss mach of the opposite, yu get atracted then it all wears off, but you will have that lady in your life where you dont want to see her get heart, see her tear drop coz of you,get burned in tha kitchen an stuff, but not all tha ladys gat that chance coz they neva try to go even to that kitchen or do your cloths an stuff, but we are there waiti.g for that lady.

  5. Avatar Anonymous December 3rd, 2011 at 3:54 am

    Daaaaayum! Real Talk right there! I know I am definitely not husband material…I’m side dish material, the guy you call when your hubby acts a fool & you want to have some fun…Great piece I love the way you break down your perception of husband material…..

  6. Avatar Shagima December 3rd, 2011 at 10:09 am

    Yap, I quite agree with you, there are women who are “wife material” and men who are “husband material”. All this is quite reflected on our character as men & women, in our daily habits, speech and actions. Being a husband material is more than meets the eye, it means being responsible across all areas, being decisive, planning among many other things. But bottom line is to access ourselves to see whether we are marriageable. That is one clue, being a  wife/husband material does not begin when you get a girlfriend/boyfriend it begins way before you get into a relationship…by the the time your getting married you are already accustomed to what you ought to do.

  7. Avatar Mwendwakyalo December 7th, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    I totally agree with you Character is they key thing 

  8. Avatar Mosehshuba December 8th, 2011 at 10:42 am

    Wife material are realist, They don’t find dressing up as fatal as those girlfriend materials. They rather save the money for rainy days. Just in case her car needs some repair, or her roof is leaking. Normally they’re independent. In that case, they are less demanding because they only rely on themselves.

  9. Avatar Zack wamuro December 10th, 2011 at 9:27 am

    I like it .Bt Maureen, where on earth can singles get that chance to stay together b4 marriage and to learn about each other, without being branded |bad  boy or girl , by the society?
    What many of us know as right is the entering into a relationship, which is in most cases distant,and then wait until that day when the two of you are brought before a multitude of people and then wedded for life.After this, the society thus expect that you maintain the marriage for ever.


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