It’s no secret that men will avoid using the word “marriage” in any conversation at all costs. Men go to great lengths to avoid mistakenly leading his committed or casual partner on with escalating the current relationship to something more. Simply put, if a man engages in après-sex conversations and says something like, “When I have a son he’s going to be really involved in sports,” the woman will hear, “I want you to be the mother of my children.” The next day, you’ll find her at a chemist buying folic acid supplements because she heard how great they were for the baby’s growth and development.
So, if men always are so careful with their words, then why do some use the word “marriage” in random conversations? I’m not referring to the conversations you have prior to being engaged, but casual conversations – the ones that aren’t suppose to really matter, especially those that you have when you’re still trying to figure out if this will be a serious relationship or not.
Him: “…Liverpool lost! Can’t believe it! So how was your day?”
Her: “OMG by bestfriend is getting married! And I’m going to be the maid of honour!”
Him: “Great! So when are WE getting married?”
Her: “What? We don’t even communicate…”
Him: “We’re communicating now?!”
In a pool of sweat, overwhelmed with questions such as “does he mean it” to “he wants to be in a committed relationship” to “OMG! Yay, he used the word!” – you struggle to keep your voice natural so that he won’t be able to sense your excitement and more than anything else, the fact that you’re actually thinking about it, wholeheartedly. Who wants to feel stupid when you find out that he actually didn’t mean what YOU heard. Sound familiar?
So, does the man actually mean what he’s saying? Was he looking to have a “marriage talk?” Was he preparing himself for another step? Or, was he again, being an irresponsible thoughtless fool?
If your relationship is on the rocks or you’re pressuring your man to define your relationship, chances are, he used the word “marriage” casually to show you that he’s not afraid of commitment as you may have thought; and strategically dissipates any tensions or hesitations that you may have had about his loyalty towards you.
It’s your call
He just wants to emotionally feed you the words you want to hear so he can play you outright. Clever. He asks a question with “marriage” embedded in it and then throws the ball back into your court suggesting that it’s all in your control, Baby. Meanwhile, you’ll accept anything he says. You can almost bet that you’ll hear “but, it wasn’t me…it was you that said ‘NO'” in future arguments.
Translation, “Baby, I’m ready to be in a committed relationship with you, which means lets have unprotected sex.”
Bells are ringin’
He’s testing the waters because subconsciously, he has actually imagined you in a wedding gown. Woohoo! This one might actually pan out. Good luck!
Words will be just words
Hello?! The man was simply asking you a very simple question. Don’t over think it. Women are so dramatic! Spssssh!