Once upon a relationship there was a bored woman who ironically had everything this world could offer. Everything! But she was still bored out of her skull. If it was a rich, handsome, loving and hardworking husband-she had. If it was a beautiful daughter already in Kindergarten in one of the best schools ever-that was the case. If it was a chauffeur driven jaguar that could drive her wherever she wanted to go and at whatever time-that was possible at the click of her fingers. And if all she had to do was sit by the pool with a glass of Martini in hand, or go for clothes and jewelry shopping sprees, spend time at the gym to get her body in shape -that was the order of her days.
But…this woman still had a void in her life, hence the boredom! So she figured out ways to curb the boredom …she started an affair with her driver! Yes! after everything her husband had given her.
Of course she was caught and of course it got so ugly as she got slapped with a divorce that left her with nothing…even the driver didn’t want a broke divorced woman!
Well, people cheat. In fact cheating has become so normal that it should just be added to the marriage vows. I mean, cheating nowadays is almost as natural as blinking. People don’t break up anymore because there was cheating involved (of course the world we are living in today is messed up such that the institution of marriage makes no sense whatsoever to some of us). And when cheated on, you huff, you puff, you cry and throw tantrums, you seek a very expensive revenge and then you proceed on with your messed up marriage as if nothing happened.
Cheating is the breaking of rules to gain advantage in a situation and in the case of relationships, having your cake and eating it too. The rules infringed may be explicit, or they may be from an unwritten code of conduct based on morality, ethics or custom.
Cheating is like stealing, the cheaters say. It is amazing when you do it and you get to have what you’ve been lusting over. Once that item is in your possession you feel complete for a bit but there’s an urge to do it again and again and it’s even more thrilling that you’re not getting caught. You love feeling like a bad ass. To you, it’s always all about having hot steamy “sexcapades” with no strings attached and best yet no judgment and…anything goes! You are having fun right? However, when you get caught though, everything goes downhill.
So what exactly is considered cheating?
*If you are interested in another person and fantasize about being with them hence you text, call, chat, email them on a daily basis behind your partners back…
*If you have a one night stand with someone
*If you hook up with somebody else regularly
*If you kiss another person aside who is not your partner
All these count as breaking rules of engagement hence cheating!
Men cheat more! Studies all over (including mine) indicate. They cheat because they can. They cheat for a need of variety. They cheat because there’s an opportunity placed on the table. They cheat for curiosity’s sake. They cheat for entitlement. For the thrill of the chase. Because of peer pressure. Because of boredom. So as to forget that nagging wife albeit briefly…need I go on? You get the idea right?
But why cheat? Because cheating is like stealing and it is dangerous! Men love danger and being bad asses! (which is the opposite of being a wimp)
And why do women cheat? Let’s see:
Women who cheat are on a different level altogether and most often it is always traced back to being unhappy in their relationship. Most women will stay away from cheating as we have that faithful bone in us and we know when caught, our men won’t be so forgiving! Being cheated on is a deal breaker for most men as they feel it is very emasculating (women are more forgiving). Therefore if you find a woman who is confidently cheating on her partner something has to be very wrong.
There are those women who are in a relationship by themselves despite being married. I mean, how else would you explain your husband not paying you any attention and ignoring you like you don’t exist? If your husband ignores you, obviously you will want to look for someone to fill up that emotional void.
Of course when you are neglected you feel lonely and this is another reason why women cheat. Boredom too (like the woman in my story above) will bring the same result but this is rare in women, as women often have a lot of work to juggle in life to have that much time for boredom.
Also in this same category… out of sight out of mind. If you have that husband who is always flying everywhere for the sake of business…it can give a woman some leeway to find someone who will be more available for some naughty fun. Long distance relationships fall in this category.
Confusion– Sometimes as a woman, you can receive so much attention from men. And not wanting to miss out on some fun times by refusing the men’s advances you end up accommodating the idea of having your cake and eating it too. Let’s say there are three men with the hots for you, and there’s something about “being wanted/desired” that thrills you. You don’t want all that attention to just disappear or go to someone else while you can sample all of it!
Admiration – There are women who will cheat because they secretly admire a certain someone. How he generally is, how he carries himself out, how he treats women, the attention and maybe affection he gives you. A nice well behaved man can make any woman go weak in the knees and even I can attest to that.
Curiosity – You’d be shocked at how women can be curious to explore with someone else…that is including another woman of course. It is said that all women are ‘bi-curious’ when it comes to the issue of sexuality and as we all know curiosity killed the cat. So yes, if you are a woman and you have a sexual encounter with another woman…that is considered cheating too.
Revenge! – Well, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. If you’ve been a bad boy until you’re used to being in the dog house frequently then one day your woman will want to hit you where it hurts most! Cheating right back on you could be her way of punishing you. There’s nothing as sweet as revenge right?
Then we have this group of women called nymphomaniacs – These are women who have an abnormal appetite for sex. This bunch of women never have enough of sex and sometimes they get bored of being with just one person throughout. They crave variety when it comes to sexual partners and hence the cheating game is introduced as a way to cater for that which is considered by them the “need for variety of sexual experience”.
Anyway, every affair is different and everyone has their own reasons for having affairs. The thing is, when a woman is happy in the relationship she is in, she is unlikely to cheat but a man will cheat whether he is happy in his relationship or not. Women are known to get attached in every relationship, hence it is rare to find a woman in a happy relationship and is cheating. Also, most women settle once they get married so the secret to not be cheated on by your woman, is to treat her well and you will have scored big in that department.