To fight or to surrender?

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Don’t you just hate when this happens? I mean what are the chances of you falling in love without any hiccups? Is love and relationships supposed to have these many challenges? Too many questions, and I’m going to give you the answers just now. Sometimes dating is fun, most of the time its not. The reason I’m saying this is that along the way you have to deal with a pack of ‘vultures’-scavengers out to feast on each and every scrap of insecurity that you and your spouse go through in your life as a couple. Some will fight bone and tooth to the end and emerge as winners, but many will surrender along the way. So, when do you surrender and when do you fight back?

 

A time to fight back- This, I think is the bravest thing to do as a person in love. It means you solely believe in your partner no matter what the circumstance or odds against you. Many at this point will not want to accept that anything or anyone can ruin their happiness and I commend that. Fighting is not bad; to the contrary, it strengthens the union and brings you closer together. This may be against jealous friends, family, religious or cultural differences, and biggest of them all- the never-ending string of competitors; people who think they can do the job better than you. I personally dislike that kind, the kind that always hover around ‘perfect’ relationships, thinking that they have a chance of experiencing the same thing. Be on the look out for such- it’s not everyday that you find the perfect mate to spend your life with. Yes, it may look over protective to at one time warn someone off your boyfriend or girlfriend, but believe me it works. Especially if your mate agrees it’s the best thing to do. Getting such support from them shows that they also feel strongly towards you and want to maintain the pace your relationship has been taking. So fight, and fight to the tooth.

A time to surrender– This is actually not the easiest decision to make. Letting go of someone you love is like someone holding a gun and pumping a bullet straight to your chest. Doesn’t sound like fun, does it? A famous writer (that’s me) once said that there’s a time to hold on and there’s a time to let go. So when does one actually let go?
Remember the problems I phrased earlier that could ruin a relationship? Well, at times they may prove to be bigger than love. Instead of happiness and joy, all you ever do is argue day and night. This is not worth it, because life is short and it’s not smart spending the better part of it unhappy. Forces may at times be stronger than we wanted them to be and fighting against them might consume your precious energy and zest for life.
Therefore, my advice to such people would be to really weigh the situation critically as well as be objective as possible. This will require time, patience and understanding. Think of those ‘competitors’ I earlier talked about. Possibilities are that they may win. We can’t control how our spouses feel towards other people, sadly, and this is the reality that each of us must face. Little by little they may start growing cold towards us, and start behaving in a way we might find way below normal. After a few days of investigation, you are hit with the realization that the competitor has won and your lover no longer feels the same about you.

What do you do in such a situation? Do you fight or do you let go? Assess the situation first and weigh the odds against you. Sometimes it’s just better to surrender than fight a battle that you will eventually loose, exhausting all your precious energy. After all, who said that surrendering means you are loser? It just means you were mature enough to realize that you deserve happiness.

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