Relationships: The starting point

(THITU KARIBA)My work requires me to spend a lot of time online and that has its occupational hazards. Whenever I am online and someone reaches out to chat, I usually take the time out to get a conversation going. Many times, this goes okay and then there are the times when it just sucks. I have chatted with some Christian men who turn out not to be all that Christian after all. However, I don’t mind because it saves me a lot of time and hurt later. It is important to make sure you talk with anyone you think you could be interested in having any relationship with and figure out who or what you are dealing with before it’s too late.

The foundation of any romantic relationship is a friendship, that’s where it has to all begin. If you can’t be friends, you can’t be more. With families it’s very different, we can’t choose our family but we can choose our friends and our spouses. Friendship is key, I’ll be honest and say that I am not friends with some of my family and I know I am not the only one. When it comes to friendship you need to select someone who you like, someone who you share the same ideas with and enjoy being and doing things with. In order to choose a friend you need to talk and get to know each other well. Once you become friends then you can determine if you can be more. There are many friends you would never date and that’s okay, however if you are going to date anyone, they have to be your friend first.

As I chat with some people, I can tell what their intentions are. Some guys are interested in being more than just friends with me, without actually being my friend. When you date someone you are not friends with, they are not obligated to care for you as a friend would. Friends would consider your likes and dislikes, your feelings, the things that make you uncomfortable, things that you would do or not do, talk about or not talk about. Dating a friend means you get all the considerations and benefits of a friendship. There are many signs you can look for when selecting a friend and more. You can tell a lot from how a man drives, from how a woman dresses and walks, from the music they listen to, the movies they watch, the places they hang out and the friends they associate with.

When chatting or talking, you need to find out what the other person believes in, and in more specific terms, you need to find out where they stand in faith and in God. Being raised in a Christian home and going to church every Sunday, is not being a Christian. Just because they know their Bible and all the worship songs or even know how to pray like a mighty prayer warrior does not count. You know a tree by its fruit, if it is posing as a mango tree but bearing oranges, you have a fake. If they talk the talk but can’t even crawl let alone walk it, you have a fake. If they say one thing but do another, you have a fake. If in your gut, in your spirit you sense something is off, it is. The starting point of any relationship or even marriage is a friendship. You have to know how to choose your friends, because if you can’t be friends you can’t be more.

From from the author HERE

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