Don’t marry the wrong man!

Are you a woman who is unhappy in her marriage? If your answer is yes, then there are a couple of wrong choices that you  made in your life by allowing yourself to marry that man!!

My reason: What most women (and this is from as young as 20) are afraid of is being single. They equate being single with being alone, unhappy and missing on the “fun couples scene” hence as they grow older they crave being with a man, even if it’s the wrong man.

Once you are married to this wrong man, you are bound to be one very sad person. Problem is that this wrong man’s main focus is to take all his sad life memories on you! And he is bad and he knows it! The sad thing is that this man exudes all the signs from the word go, from the time you meet him but you are the one who chooses “to see them, yes, but be the ignoramus.”

Mr. wrong could have had a bad childhood, maybe his folks kept putting him down, maybe he was always told that he wasn’t  good enough, maybe he grew up dirt poor while his friends had it all, or maybe he was just a loner… and his life continues to stink because he does nothing to change things. He is bitter with life and he just wants to take steam out on someone, someone he claims to love with all his heart hence the need to do what he does to that person (read girlfriend or future bitter-than-gall wife).

I have always believed that since we live in the 21st century and things have changed, a woman should always seek to empower herself first. Being self sufficient is the in thing if you didn’t know. Can you imagine a life where you have all the necessary resources to make you happy and you provide them for yourself?

Spot Mr. Wrong from a mile away. He is:

*That man who has decided that you don’t have a brain of your own so he makes every decision for you. He wants to dictate everything…like what you’ll eat, what you’ll wear, when you’ll answer your phone, when you’ll go to work, when you’ll come back from work, how many children you’ll have … everything that has to do with you but sadly you don’t have a say in. There you are thinking that he loves you so much and that he’s doing all this because he only wants the best for you.

*That man who is overly dependent on you and doesn’t make any effort to better his financial situation.  So you will support this man’s everything… from his transport to his lunch money to money for drinks with friends. He always promises to give it back. Sometimes even with interest and you’ve never seen a coin from him and the problem is he never has any money to even buy you a gift. Sometimes when need be he steals from you and when you ask…hell breaks loose.

* That man with anger issues! He gets annoyed at everything. Even with others, just a small misunderstanding and he is already clenching his fists. And if you are not careful those fists will gladly land on you. You the woman in his life. And he knows you can’t tell anyone so you suffer in silence. When you notice that he gets angry fast it means he has no self control hence he will tend to be abusive!! You are how he releases anger.

* That man who is anti-responsibility. So he wants you to do everything! Pay all the bills and he never lifts a finger to help around. He is Mr. Arrogant himself and he has the nerve to ask why there’s no cooking gas, why dinner is late, why the electricity bill hasn’t been paid…while he can help you pay bills because after all he is the number one consumer of everything in your house! The house that you pay rent for!

*That man who puts you down. No compliments from him ever Instead he will ask you why you are wearing your hair like that…even go on about how he hates women who wear weaves when it’s very obvious that you have a weave on. He is the real self esteem destroyer.

Once you become the guy’s official girlfriend, your social life becomes non-existent. Woe unto you should you be found  having a coffee with even just a colleague and worse still if it is a male colleague…he will pounce on him, then pounce on you…and then on you again when you are behind closed doors.

Most of us girls get excited by small things. So a guy treats you like trash throughout the relationship and he always makes you miserable but then one day he fishes for something in his pocket, unleashes the bling  and pops the question and every wrong is forgiven and forgotten and you can’t wait to announce to the whole world that you are engaged!…(To the biggest loser who will forever drag you down!)

Unless you want to live in bondage for the rest of your life, then by all means go ahead and marry Mr. Wrong and especially for a silly reason like your Biological clock ticking and all your friends getting married. Just because you got pregnant, doesn’t mean you should marry a guy who sees you as nothing. Because you will  have bound yourself to the equivalent of the devil.

Ladies, love yourself for no one will love you as much. It is ok to be single rather than be somebody’s doormat… Look at the bright side of everything…Instead of  considering yourself single, think of it as being in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom.

The good news is that if you haven’t married Mr. Wrong, you still have a chance to avoid him. You can avoid all that heartache and end up being the happiest married woman… on your own terms when the time comes.

When you know what a happy life is like and how it can be shared by a partner who wants to build you and help make you a better person everyday…even if you will be 50 or 90. You will simply get to choose when to be happy-and I’m assuming you’ll definitely choose happiness always).


PS: Nobody has ever died of being single but unhappiness can kill you slowly.

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  1. Avatar Monica Ngugi September 23rd, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    Indeed singleness has never killed anyone. Even our Lord Jesus was single. People should stop stereotyping singleness coz it’s a great opportunity to advance yourself and do a lot of things. The stereotyping and singlephobia is what is leading many women into marrying the wrong men. 

  2. Avatar Bennarunga September 23rd, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    Watch out! tell tell signs if you think it is …then it must be it, if you cant be happy now you wont any other time in future

  3. Avatar Zaina Eid September 24th, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    wooi!!! its as if i told u the story of my life…its really sad to have such a man as a husband..well said, i guess wen u get pregnant at an early age u loose focus n oversee ol the flaws..let me say its not the best of experience… 

  4. Avatar Omondibarrack September 24th, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    I agree with the author that singleness has never killed anyone and please please don’t end up with the wrong man. But ladies, and gentlemen don’t miss out on the opportunity of sharing your life with someone special. companionship is one of those things hard to put a price on but does wonders in balancing if not improving the quality of life that you live. Allow the right man or woman to show you

  5. Avatar Demkichwamaji September 25th, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    people have hope that with the ring on your finger he’s gonna change……….wrong,well maybe for a while but you’ll be singing the old tune when the spell has lost its power.

  6. Avatar Marianne Wanjiku September 26th, 2011 at 6:09 pm

    I’m single and waiting on my man not Mr Perfect not Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheating-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az,
    Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothing-az, Lazy-az, and especially his
    third cousin Beatinyo-az.

  7. Avatar dr K.J.KIPTIRIM September 26th, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    am single 30years old love my job .and have never tought of getting married i love my own space .i have fun almost every day i travel anytime i feel like .no one asks me where am going.i have plans on adopting a small baby boy when am 33.and am sure i will still be happy and comfortable as now. untill this kills me i dont see the reason of getting married.not unless i meet the right one maybe.but still i have to always watch my back

  8. Avatar Edwines September 27th, 2011 at 5:55 am

    Empowering yourself is the bottomline


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