Why did I sleep with him??

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I was deeply engrossed in an episode of the drama series ‘Single Ladies’ when one of the characters made a comment that really got me thinking. While referring to a romantic relationship gone sour, one of the ladies asked a seemingly simple yet provocative question. “Why did I sleep with him?”. To which her friend responds “Girl that’s the title of my autobiography!!”.

We’ve all had moments where we wish we could undo a sexual experience. You know those moments where you look at someone you used to be with and think ‘Wow, what the hell was I even thinking?’. It could be that you were just lonely at that point in time, or that you were desperate, inebriated, or just having a bad day. It happens to the best of us. The more important thing to focus on however; is what comes next.

I had one such experience over the weekend. I guess I could blame it on the 5 month dry spell that I’d been experiencing. Either way I found myself in a compromising position 30 minutes into a 2nd date. Now normally I try and make a guy chase me a bit to heighten the suspense. I prefer for a man to really put in some effort before I decide whether or not to give up the goodies.

The problem with life however, is that things don’t always go according to plan. So after 30 minutes of small talk on this mans couch things started to get heated. One thing led to another and I realized my usual ‘hard to get’ vibe wasn’t happening that night. The saddest part about the whole experience was that it was over in under 10 minutes. Just when I was about to start unleashing all my special moves to impress the man, it was a wrap. I’m pretty sure he didn’t feel too good about his performance either because the conversation quickly moved to how he had such an early morning and he needed to get some rest, blah, blah.

So I drove home, called up my girls, and we hit the town so I could try and forget what had just happened. I managed to forget till the next morning and still cant believe that all that anticipation had such an anti-climatic end. So now I’m laying in my bed watching ‘Single Ladies’ and wishing I could trade my sex life for a more fabulous made-for-tv version.

Yet as I’m thinking about it, I’m also realizing that sadly I can’t change what happened. I can however, move on swiftly to other matters and count this as a learning experience. Because the more we obsess and mentally regret some of the people we’ve been with, the more that becomes our reality. So rather than asking ‘Why did I sleep with him?’, maybe a more fitting question would be ‘So what’s next?’.

The funny thing about life is that it goes on. Amidst dry spells, bad sex, and awkward conversations, if you can learn to accept it all as part of the game of life then you’ve just won half the fight.

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  • rachael mwangi

    true

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