No ringy, no dingy

(THITU KARIBA) The other night I stayed up later than usual and I got to sit in and listen to one of my favorite radio presenters who deals with love and relationships. Usually she has a question she addresses to the audience and this time around it was about who in the relationship should take responsibility for contraception. Many had their own take on things, and I said that if the couple is not married they should not be having sex, but in the marriage it should be discussed and even switched from time to time.

The thing about relationships today is that we want to have the sex without the consequences. We want to have sex like we are married but not expect to take the responsibilities that come with it.  One of the reasons God created sex is to procreate, get pregnant and multiply, that means that if you are having sex there is a chance that you will get pregnant. Contraceptives are really family planning methods. They are for married couples who would like to enjoy the pleasure of sex without always having kids. When they do get pregnant, they are ok with it, sometimes it’s planned and other times its not and that’s ok. In a relationship where people are having sex outside marriage, no one wants to get pregnant.

Regardless of what people may think, sex is a big responsibility and contraception is just one of the responsibilities that come with it.   When you are in a marriage you are one, what happens to one happens to the other because you are in a life time commitment. In a relationship you may be together but you need to take care of your own. In a relationship there is no telling how long you will be together so you don’t want to do anything that will have any permanent effects such as having a child. To be honest it’s selfish and inconsiderate.

My ex was a doctor, so really he knew better but yet wanted to have the sex with no condom. I took care of the contraception but as they say it’s never 100%. After almost two years in a relationship, we increased our chances of getting pregnant every time we had sex. Chances are, with anything that is not 100%, something is bound to happen be it with contraceptives that are not 100% or a relationship that is not 100%. I got pregnant, and when I did, he was not only shocked but mad about it. Scientifically it’s not possible for me to get pregnant without his seed, seed that he willingly shared, but when the seed somehow gets past the goalie which you already know could happen and scores, fertilizing the egg, guys want to get mad. Getting pregnant then shakes the already shaky foundation of a relationship that is not 100% and it comes tumbling down.

God created man and woman and asked us to go forth and multiply.  He is God.  He knows we have to have sex to do that and he is ok with it. All he asks is that we first get into a committed relationship built on solid rock, marriage, then take to sex and children. In a marriage children are welcome.  In fact people have them on purpose, so getting pregnant is acceptable. Outside marriage it’s not, outside marriage it is seen as a trap to get the person to marry you, it is seen as being irresponsible and it is seen as your fault, when really it’s science, it’s nature, it’s God.

This here is just one of the many reasons why I would advise the single people today to chill, no ringy, no dingy


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