(PASTOR WA) The golden age of fine wining and dining has seemingly been replaced by our quick instant lifestyles that allow very little time for anything. Microwaves, email, instant coffee, MTV, Tyra Banks, Maina and Kingangi in the morning…. its all fast paced.And so has the approach to relationships become. Kila kitu ni chap chap. Including the meet-ups. We do twitter, Facebook, then Sms, by the time a week is over, we are having sex online.
That’s just how fast paced it’s become!
But I’m not complaining about it, its just that now, because of how easy it is to meet someone and talk over gadgets without physically taking the effort to be there and work on the relationships, there is a group of young men who honestly have no idea on how to treat a woman. Zero. Bilaz. Wako dooooooooooown!
So it’s easy to guess, that if you put some of our young dudes in the presence of girls, and there be no music, no sex, no movies, and no gadgets. They will be totally clueless on how to relate.
So, i guess this is my 101 on boy to girl etiquette. Let’s end the floundering. Get our jamaaz up. So they can both relate and be relevant to the ladies as it were.
1. When you meet a lady you like, make sure your eyes stay on her face and not her chest: If your mama didn’t tell you, then I will. Staring is wrong. Especially staring at a woman’s private ‘space’. Ogling is actually still very unnerving to any woman. Most girls say it ends up making them feel like a piece of ‘meat’ or commodity being window-shopped. Learn to communicate respect with your eyes.
2. Listening to her talk implies you are mature enough: Don’t just hog the entire date or time bragging about the time you drove your uncle’s moti and overtook a Subaru on Thika Road. Haisaidii. Chics want to be listened to. Let her say what’s in her heart. And actually listen! Even if you don’t agree. That means you are respectable. Then also don’t argue over everything like you are the expert on life. Sometimes it’s not about what’s right, its about us telling each other what we feel without fear doubt.
3. Tell her family when you are taking her out: I’m not sure guys get it, but you have no idea of the seriousness involved in wanting to get into a ladies life until you begin to inform her family of your intentions. Tell them you are taking her somewhere nice, and that you will bring her back by a particular time. Then keep the agreed time. Plus, make sure, YOU bring her home. Don’t just pandisha her a mat and wave kwaheri.
Telling her family you are with her means you are taking responsibility for her welfare in the duration of the time you’re together. Now that’s a mature man, that can handle a woman.
4. Pay the Bill: The Man in the relationship Pays the bill. Everything else you will hear is hogwash. Earn, save, do whatever it takes, but never take a woman out or somewhere without making plans to spend on her. As one of my fathers would say; Beg, Borrow or steal, but never put the responsibility of paying for outings on the woman. It’s fully yours. If she want’s to buy something, then that’s fine. But the bill is YOURS buddy.
5. Look Nice: If you’ve watched the wedding show, you will realize all the women look amazing in the videos. They take time to pick what to wear and want to look good. Don’t jump into baggy, torn, faded, jaded jeans and old sneakers and an Uchumi yetu T-shirt if you want a chic you are pursuing to take you seriously.
Invest in a shirt, nice pants, and leather shoes, that make you look like a gentleman
6. Talking dirty ain’t Sexy: Girls are emotional, they want you to engage them in emotionally stimulating and engaging conversations without being sexually explicit and dirty. That’s a major no-no. Talk to her nicely, be courteous in your choice of words, and let her know her man has some manners and discretion when it comes to sexual issues.
7. If She’s scared, take care of it: Being a guy can cause you think and act like women are men. They aren’t. A woman may be freaked out by a spider, or a bee. You don’t trivialize her fears, you help her and deal with the threat as her protector. making fun of her fears makes you and idiot, because you just wasted an opportunity to show that you care.
8. Finally, Don’t be wishy washy about your commitments: If you like a girl and are pursuing her, don’t talk from the two sides of your mouth, don’t say you like her today, then say you have a girlfriend tomorrow. Be consistent and let her know plainly you want her. Even if she isn’t interested, she may be later because you were very clear and straight forward about your intentions. Keeping multiple relationships at the same time is not cool. You may end up being dropped like a bad habit.
Courting girls can be a daunting task for men in this day and age where no relationship etiquette is being taught to men, but it can be done, and be a fun experience. Men need to be taught how to treat the women they are interested in or else the chics will keep wondering where these baboons came from!
As always, I love my jamaaz, and I want you to do well, especially, in the eyes of these precious girls!
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