Dating these days is quite complicated. I feel like men these days are nothing like our grand fathers. There was a certain standard men aspired to when it came to relationships. Women were put on pedestals and treated like queens. I was out with a friend of mine the other day at a house party. Only beer was available and I do not drink the frothy stuff. So he made a quick run to the store for something for me to drink. I kid you not, every guy there gave him grief about it. They were saying that he must have a crush on me to go out of his way like that because they would have made me drink whatever was available. It was just so saddening. A brother was just being a gentleman.
Anyway, thank goodness for men like Boris Kodjoe. They restore my faith in the male species. Boris, who has been married to Nicole Ari Parker for the last six years, recently gave some good insight into what a ‘Good Man’ should be while conversing with model/actress Claudia Jordan. Claudia tweeted that her mother told her to find ‘some rich, ugly producer and marry him’ because of her troubles with finding a quality man in LA. Boris responded:
“Why he gotta be ugly? Honestly, I think LA is cancerous for relationships. The hustle mentality and ‘gotta make it’ attitude keeps people from cultivating a real connection. No one has time to take anyone in. Everyone is self-centered and wants to ‘keep it moving’ Dudes here are so insecure that they have to switch up a girl every week to hide their ‘weaknesses’. A real man embraces them!”
From that response, he went on to create the trending topic, #How2baMan, where he shared what he believes are qualities that all men should possess. Check them out below:
“– Embrace your imperfections
– Laugh at yourself. A woman likes a man who doesn’t take himself too serious.
– Fix or build something with your hands. It’ll show her that you are capable of taking care of a home.
– Know how to cook and clean. It’ll show her that you don’t need her but that you WANT her.
– Get your passport and travel. A man needs to see the world.
– Communicate without cursing. You don’t need to curse to make a point. Cursing shows lack of substance.
– In bed, take care of your woman first. When she’s satisfied you are DA MAN!!!
– Stay in shape. It’ll show her that you care about yourself and therefore are able to care about her.
– Take care of your responsibilities. Anything less is unacceptable. A boy is irresponsible, not a man.
– Open her door and pull out her chair. It shows her that you honor traditional values. Trust me, she will do the same.
– Be present! Take her in with your eyes and ears. Your attention will make her feel loved and she won’t ever nag you.
– Read a f—ing book! (Sorry, violation of ‘no cursing’ rule) But seriously, ignorance is a major turn-off. Book on tape will do.
– Have an ambition. You don’t need to be rich but you need to show direction and motivation. Keep a job!
– Last one for today: Treat a woman the way you would want your daughter to be treated. Anything less is unacceptable.”
Loving it You can find Boris on twitter here. What else would you add to the list?