Football season: No more sex

August 11, 2011 – With the 20th Premier League set to begin this Saturday, August 13th; wives, girlfriends and female-significant-others alike will need to brace themselves for some long hours of alone time that happens every time a football match comes on TV.

The truth is, unfortunately, the men in our lives will be more preoccupied with the scores of the last Arsenal match than getting his mojo on with you.

So Ladies, instead of complaining about how many times your man has ditched you for a game at a pub that him and his boys frequent, or how he gets annoyed when you try to kiss him when a penalty kick is just about to happen – do something about it and get involved in the football frenzy or risk being kicked to the curb or even have your man stolen by another woman well-versed in football, whom he had met at a pub when you were home alone sulking.

NOTE TO ALL MEN: it is absolutely unfair to assume all women don’t play sports and are sport-challenged, let alone understanding the technical concepts behind sports that require incredible intelligence to master…. *barf*

It’s not our fault as women that we appreciate a fine looking male specimen in his uniform parading around on the field, and we’re not shy to comment on how tight his abdominals and buttocks are. FYI, just a friendly reminder, men should clue-in and keep tabs on their bodies too – beer or “Tusker” bellies are not that sexy.

Women by nature are multi-taskers and require a lot of stimulation.  Staring at a TV screen for hours on end just doesn’t cut it for us.  But, since we are the more adaptable sex of the two, we will attempt to learn to appreciate what our men are passionate about.


Tips For Women

  1. Wikipedia the bare basics of the game to get an overall understanding of what to expect.
  2. Don’t flip the channel or go to the washroom when the sport highlights on the evening news come on.  Try and listen…
  3. Go and watch a match live and Nyayo so that you can experience the energy of frenzied fans feels like.  That addictive energy is surely going to captivate your curiosity and inspired you to take football more seriously.
  4. During a game, if you have a question, don’t be afraid to ask your man.  Just don’t ask when it’s at a pivotal point in the game or when he’s completely engrossed in concentration.  Men are so easy to engage when speaking about one of their mindless passions like football.
  5. Finally, your man will appreciate your cute attempts to understand football and to become one of the boys.

Good luck ladies on a very sex-ful football season!







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1 Comment

  1. james February 16th, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    At the moment, the reality is that, all the big parties ODM, TNA, URP, and wiper are regional tribal parties. The only limitation for this option of regional parties is the small tribes or the unpopulated regions will be marginalised.


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