August 10, 2011 (Muthoni Kimani) – I have longed to feel swept up in the feeling of love, the heat of passion and the consumption of fire. I have waited, looking on in scorn at those others that have gloried in their femininity and shown it.
Many a man have asked for my hand, and I have wondered what it is they have seen in me. I have felt nothing for them but platonic affection, and sometimes, irritation.
But tonight, here comes one who evokes deep longings within me – of what I know not. I have held on to sanity, like a man at sea, but tonight I long to let go. To be swept away and be part of his universe. To let loose my hair in the breeze and run barefoot on soft grass.
But in a sea full of women, how will he notice me? I am not the most beautiful according to the fluctuating standards of this world. But I have arresting eyes, a throaty voice, a tinkling laughter. My tresses are long, my figure is excellent. I am gentle and my hands are soft. But I need extra weaponry.
I have talked to his confidante who advises me on what the object of my affection prefers and requires. My new friend, his confidante, has offered to help.
So I go into theraphy – lotions, toners, and moisturisers. I go on a diet. I am introduced to the glamorous world of make-up and haute couture high-fashion. At the end of it all, even I can agree, looking at my reflection, that I am beautiful, I just never paid attention.
Tonight is the night, my one night with him. Nothing can be left to chance. I will use this night -and use it well I shall. My body is groomed, my skin is soft and glowing. My nails are done, my make-up is perfect. My new friend recommends a silly white dress in soft layers, a flower in my coiffured hair and perfume that is exotic but not over-powering.
I have wine prepared, and I have memorised his favorite jokes and interesting stories. I have read up on his favorite subjects and I have prayed for God’s favor.
I am ready, am shown into his presence. I am overwhelmed, but none of this shows on my cool exterior. Up close, he’s even better looking than I thought.
I am aware of the gravity of this moment. To present myself and brand his heart, leave a mark, solely mine so that he looks at no other that for as long as we both shall live, his eyes will seek mine and when am away; thoughts of me will haunt his dreams and his waking thoughts that the pulse at the base of his throat will erratically beat at my nearness; and his footsteps hastening him to my side. That tonight, after I am done with him, ministering in respectful submission, in respect and adoration to my king for one night; he will be my king for a day-everyday of his life, and I his adoring queen.