The “second wife” club: Would you join it?

July 19, 2011 – One of my very good friends is getting married soon. My wedding invitation arrived over the weekend. Of course I will attend the wedding but there’s one teeny tiny problem…I have not met the groom to be! and I don’t think she’s letting anyone meet him any time soon….maybe until the wedding nears. She didn’t even have an engagement party.

What I’m sure of is that the two haven’t known each other for long (but that’s not an issue nowadays, you have the rest of your lives together-or maybe not- to get to know each other…or maybe not).  The problem is that my friend has decided to get married to this guy as his second wife!

Now, to some people that is not a problem but to me it comes as a shocker! When it comes to the topic of the second wife club… I always keep imagining that if a  guy  took a second wife, he might bring in  a third one!  and I’m really not a huge fan of sharing my men with other women. In fact I’m so terrified of sharing that sometimes I think I wouldn’t mind dying a single woman with several cats by my side and a fireplace!

Anyway, my friend happens to be only 23 and the guy is well in his forties (I have no issue with massive age gaps, some people understand each other very well just that way….age gap and all).

I believe that at 23 you have not experienced the dating scene enough to decide that you are ready to become someone’s wife let alone a second wife. My friend  is young and gorgeous and if you asked me, she could very easily bag herself any guy she wanted… believe me I have met her previous boyfriends (who all happened to be young, handsome and successful and in “love” with her).

I know anyone above 18 is an adult who can make their own life decisions and so I had to ask her when and how exactly she ended up in such a situation. To which she said, “I know there are young, single, hot, successful men all over (you’ve even seen me date a few), but I am tired of men who want to have their cake and eat it too. I am tired of being someone’s one out of five or more girlfriends at a go. I am just tired of being strung along. This guy has come into my life and swept me off my feet. I have never been happier and since I don’t want to be a home wrecker, he asked me to marry him and I said yes.”

Apparently the guy (whom I gather has heavy pockets) explained his intentions and according to him, instead of being promiscuous and jumping from one woman to another he would rather have two wives, who know of each other and know about his whereabouts at any given time.

After the explanations I decided to let her be and right now I am just  so happy that she is happy and getting married soon. I sort of understand where she is coming from even though I strongly feel that she should give the whole second wife thing some more thought or maybe waited to meet someone later on in life who would treat her the way she would want and love to be treated.

She says she has met the guy’s folks and siblings, his wife and children who all gave her a nod. She says the man treats both her and the first wife equally and the wife has embraced the situation and knows who to call when he can’t be reached on his cell phone. “We are the two leading ladies in his life” she says beaming. I just hope that there won’t come a time when the two “leading ladies in his life ” will be fighting for his attention.

Now on to you readers…

What do you think of the second wife club?

Is my friend making a huge mistake or she is just doing what needs to be done?

Would you join the second wife club?

Guys, given the chance would you take a second wife if you could afford one?

Some say that it is better to take a second wife than be a promiscuous, lying cheat  and some say that they would do it just because they can.

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